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Top 7: Ways to woo a wench ...

Anna Turner, The Miami Student

7. Unlocketh her chastity belt with your golden key

6. Make her bosom your bosom friend

5. Bestow upon her a pox of love (i.e. syphillis)

4. Plow her barren field

3. Pierce her with your lance (5 points, 10 if she be a fair maiden)

2. Feast upon her cabbage garden

1. Pour your creamy porridge down her gullet


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