7. Unlocketh her chastity belt with your golden key
6. Make her bosom your bosom friend
5. Bestow upon her a pox of love (i.e. syphillis)
4. Plow her barren field
3. Pierce her with your lance (5 points, 10 if she be a fair maiden)
2. Feast upon her cabbage garden
1. Pour your creamy porridge down her gullet