Stephen Gallas, For The Miami Student

(HANNAH MILLER | The Miami Student)

If you’re looking to just kick it or are the rare person who scrubs to class, then thrift stores may be the place for you. There are many different kinds of totally awesome clothes that you can get at any thrift store in your neighborhood. I happen to be a huge fan of shopping at thrift stores. T-shirts I buy at the Salvation Army (a.k.a. Salvo — yeah, you know that nickname is awesome) are a staple of my wardrobe.

A vast majority of the funniest shirts I have seen have come from thrift stores. I know reading this has inflicted you with an insufferable itch to go buy some shirts from Goodwill, but there a few things you should know before you scratch.

What exactly constitutes a sweet shirt? It all depends on taste, but there are a few categories of shirts that always seem to be good wears. Nineties pop music shirts are very good finds. If you can rep Hanson, who’s going to stop you? I happen to be the proud owner of an *NSYNC shirt from their 1999 tour, part of one of the best Christmas presents my younger brother has gotten me.

There are some kinds of shirts that are always nice to find. Anything involving animals, old sports or athletes, cities or Pokémon are golden. If you find these, you most likely have stumbled upon a winner. Something dumpy that a grandma named Bonnie would wear will also do the trick. In case you aren’t sure what that might entail, I’m talking about cat shirts. And sequins.

While you are shopping, it is very important to not laugh at any of the shirts you see. If you do this, you may offend some people and in doing so are making yourself look like an asshole. It’s best to be a courteous shopper.

Just because you are shopping in a thrift store doesn’t mean you should stop looking for deals. For example, 80 percent of the clothes are half-off on Wednesdays at the Salvo. Sometimes a shirt can be bought for 25 cents. Nibble on that.

Being a good thrift store shopper takes a great deal of patience. If you really want to get the best shirts, you have to be willing to sift through everything they have. A good thrift store shopper knows right when they enter and pass the gumball machine that they might be there for a while.

Give everything a decent look, and hang onto anything you like that you think will fit. Once you are done looking at all of the shirts, it’s time to take all of your finds to the fitting room. You do need to realize that sometimes it might just not be your day and you will come up empty-handed. The selection can’t always be awesome.

Try on all of your shirts. Make sure they fit, and make sure there aren’t any unsightly stains. You can put whatever you don’t want in an area near the register. The Salvo where I usually shop has a rolling rack up there for this exact reason.

Make sure you take the hangers out of the shirts you are going to buy. It makes it easier for the person working the register. Once you take the clothes home, have the staple remover ready so you can take out the tags. After that, run them through the laundry and enjoy. There’s nothing quite like a successful thrift store run.

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