People seem to be bummed about this whole “pandemic” thing, but I think it is better to look at it in a positive light.
“We pride ourselves with having the most up-to-date technology to make our students lives more contemporary,” said finance professor Connor Lance. “But also because it makes me feel cool, and as an adult that is a rare feeling.”
He said “I love you” fifteen messages in and asked for my address before my phone number. His bio was “Trying to find the Romeo to my Juliet. No hook ups, I’m looking for the one ;).”
Well, if students thought the previous seniority based system was cutthroat wait until you’re getting your throat cut by a first-year with 15 AP credits.
As I mentioned, she had been drinking — rum spiked eggnog, to be specific. Grandma was, admittedly, a tank, but the nog had been flowing all night. I began to worry for her as she started off into the night, stumbling through six inches of heavy snow.
Mom and Dad frankly did a very good job of explaining why being pecked to death was the most ethical thing to do. We owe a debt to their kind, a debt only paid in blood.
Dabbing, flossing, Fortnite dances and other performance-based memes all stem from the soul of the great Silentó. There have been other, weaker attempts to create these memetic trends (The Stanky Leg comes to mind) but none turned the tide quite like the whip and the nae nae. And the fact that these newer memetic performances continue to grow speaks to the luck, skill and concentrated power of will of Silentó’s legacy.
Oxford calls out into the abyss looking for a matching answer
As the summer leaves start to turn their hue to an earthly orange and brown, so too do the annual breed of underclassmen turn toward their advisors’ offices. The first few exams have been taken, the grades are out and the students are restless to move. The beautiful natural phenomenon that we are about to witness is the yearly changing of the majors.
