Valentine's day got you down? Went to see He's Just Not That Into You and feeling a little suicidal? Pants-less on the curb with an open flask of gin? Hallmark Holidays can be hard, but look no further: Amusement is here to offer you some innovative and different ways to spend your Valentine's Day, lest you end up strung out in the alley outside Mac 'n Joe's.
Idea No. 1: Go to dinner by yourself. Now, this may seem like risky business on first thought. But feel the serenity of eating in silence, alone, and watching people in love enjoying their meals all around you. It's LIBERATING! If you're too afraid to dive in, bring along a small pet to keep you company. Perhaps a restaurant-friendly feline. If the restaurant has a strict no-pet policy, bring your laptop and Skype with your mother during the meal; research has found that people find this adorable.
Idea No. 2: Advertise your singleness via sandwich board at the seal. While this may seem like an act of desperation, I've found it to be a very effective way to get dates.
Idea No. 3: Go shopping for a Charter Day Ball outfit! Planning to go stag? (Probably). At least at Charter Day, people will be shuffling around and probably won't even notice that you are dateless and alone. So go pick out your Sunday-best. Ladies, don't be afraid to edge on the slutty side. And men, don't wear a bow tie unless you're definitely planning on going home alone.
Idea No. 4: Get drunk by yourself. This is not as bad as it sounds. I wouldn't suggest doing it in public (and, if you do, might I suggest somewhere classy such as Circle Bar or CJ's), but how about in your house during the dinner hour? Find that old bottle of Popov that's been in the freezer since July or swing by Oxford Spirits and class it up with a box of Franzia! Don't like the idea of passing out alone before 9 p.m.? Call a friend and join forces.
Idea No. 5: Learn how to knit. Pop in a copy of You've Got Mail, and put those hands to work.
Idea No. 6: Head to King Library and spend some quality time with a second floor cubicle. Bring along a copy of any Dashboard Confessional song to really make the night romantic. If you start to get weary, bounce on down to the one and only King Café and have your favorite barista make you a faux-Starbucks drink!
Idea No. 7: Conference call all your exes from middle school on. Playing a little game of catch-up never hurt anyone.
If all else fails, pull your blinds closed and don't step outside until Sunday. Or, head over to Shriver and see if AfterDark has anything going on.
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