Why Would I Mind? I'm Fine
People seem to be bummed about this whole “pandemic” thing, but I think it is better to look at it in a positive light.
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People seem to be bummed about this whole “pandemic” thing, but I think it is better to look at it in a positive light.
The Farmer School of Business has confirmed plans to install 400 heated panels under the stone floors of the building, assuring students that the introduction of these heated walkways will both “reduce lame-ness” and “increase general clout.”
“I have something I want to show you.” He said in my ear, frankly a little too close.
Registration has always been a troubling topic among the Miami University student body.
Every holiday season is kicked off by Thanksgiving — a time to be close with your family and to be thankful for all you have. Traditionally, this time of the year comes with a turkey, mashed potatoes, family gatherings and joy.
Let me go ahead and start this defense with a quick “watch me whip” immediately followed up by a drawn-out “... and watch me nae nae.”
*To the tune of “Grandma Got Runover By A Reindeer” by Elmo & Patsy*
As the summer leaves start to turn their hue to an earthly orange and brown, so too do the annual breed of underclassmen turn toward their advisors’ offices. The first few exams have been taken, the grades are out and the students are restless to move. The beautiful natural phenomenon that we are about to witness is the yearly changing of the majors.
MALE, 20: Hello, and good day. I am seeking a compatriot with which to attend a rendevouz. I have already completed and broken-in my William Randolph Hearst costume and will be happy to help you construct yours. I am envisioning that you go as the ghost of an elderly woman that had been killed by Hearst years earlier in a tragic hit and run. It offers a hint of humor with a lining of historically-accurate-yet-spooky — a perfect combo. Write me a letter if interested and leave it on my doorstep. You will have to find me.
Editor of the humor section, goblin king and father: Michael Serio was a one of a kind.
This is an open letter to my dear friend, Linda Carlisle:
Miami University has recently changed their official school mascot from the RedHawk to the Inostrancevia: a canine, hairless predator with a heart of gold.
The following reflects the various opinions of the Humor section.
Sexy Theraspid
This week, The Miami Student's humor section, the leading investigative reporters, went undercover in Miami's Greek system. The Student's reporters looked for the inner workings of each fraternity, but uncovered so much more.
Miami University approved a controversial budget cut to the College and Arts and Sciences (CAS) and Student Counseling Services (SCS) in lieu of a more concentrated approach toward "high priority issues": mustard.
In the southwest corner of the southwestern Ohio town of Oxford sits a singles bar, bustling on its busiest day of the year. Singles flock from all over the college town to escape the entrapping horror of couples. But what should be an escape feels more like a purgatory, as the same sorts of people seem to walk through every year. Who are these people? Well I'm glad you asked.
Don't call them back
Michael Sheffield