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As some of you may have figured out by the recent decline in humor article quality, our brave, intelligent and humble leader, Teddy Johnson, has forcefully been removed from his post by Father Time.
If you are an unfortunate soul under the age of 21, who will be trapped on campus during Green Beer Day (GBD), the FOMO can be hard to fend off. If you didn’t unlock the GBD cheat code I did last year (going somewhere you can legally partake in the festivities) you may feel as though you’re out of luck. However, as someone who survived (barely) a GBD without the fluid, I do consider myself an expert in getting through this tough time. So, sit back, relax and enjoy my incredible advice on what to do during GBD.
BREAKING: My single-AF heart on Feb. 14.
Suppose you’re like us, then you’ve come to realize that there’s a very real chance that you might go all four years without meeting your Miami Merger, or even a Tinder talking stage (aside from the time we got catfished by the people at Hate and Dishonor). Things have gotten so bad that the two of us have resorted to frequent cuddling and have a plan to get married (for tax purposes, we promise).
For those of you who missed the previous masterpiece, go ahead and read part one of this story. You won’t want to miss it. Anyway, let me kick off where I left off.
I pride myself on being someone willing to try new things – call me a tree the way I branch out. I particularly had this mindset when I showed up on this campus. I walked into my dorm, wide-eyed and bushy-tailed, thinking of all the cool, new opportunities for me.
The leaves are changing, hoodies and flannels are out in full force and the pumpkin spice is flowing through Starbucks. It’s everyone’s favorite time of the year: fall in Oxford. Now that we have reached the end of summer, you may notice a few things happening on campus. Peculiar (some may even say spooky) things are happening all across campus. You know it's fall when…
If you’re anything like me, you're obsessed with fantasy football. What has fascinated me recently, though, is the concept of fantasy football. At its core, fantasy football is all about betting on other people’s job performance. And, because we live in a simulation, this got us thinking. Are other people betting on our performance? What would fantasy football for college students look like? Who are the star players? Well, we have come up with our most educated guess on what scoring would look like, and who the elite fantasy assets are. So, let's dive into our comprehensive guide.
Do you remember driving into Oxford on an incredibly crowded day, struggling to find a campus parking deck and taking your exhausted self into Armstrong to begin the greatest of days: Make it Miami. We remember it vividly – little red tote bags, paper pamphlets that we never read, and a realization that Miami University was the place for us (it was the only school we got into, and we got waitlisted at that). But, we have learned since becoming full-time students that there were a lot of things we missed. Here are some sights that ‘Make it Miami’ students should look out for.
For those of you who don’t know me (which I’m going to assume that the only people reading this article do know me), I am studying abroad in Luxembourg this semester. Don’t worry, it will be the only thing I talk about when I return to Oxford.
Humor editors break record long streak of not having a headline dump; no one notices
This may come as a complete surprise to everyone, but I was not a perfect angel growing up. I’m still not. Despite being on the nice list for the first 18 years of my life, my run of niceness ended last year, when I received a lump of coal from Santa Claus.
I’m sure you’ve heard of No Shave November (I valiantly took on the challenge last year) and some of the … other abstaining challenges for the month. I personally have also had a “no girls will talk to me November.” I’m still not sure if the two are related or not.
Just like every other child, I always looked forward to Halloween (albeit for much different reasons than I do now). Nothing compared to consuming extreme amounts of unhealthy substances while pretending to be someone you’re not in order to forget about your worries. Sound familiar? I don’t think so either.
As everyone who has read my articles knows, I am not a journalism major. Far from it, actually. But sometimes I get the itch to do “journalisming” — particularly absurd journalisming.
Are you a socially struggling first-year? Do you ever spend your Wednesday, Thursday, Friday or Saturday nights getting eight or more hours of sleep? Are you sometimes productive, or do you attend events put on by MAP or even your RA? Then boy have I got something for you.
Student whose dad gave them a J.P. Morgan internship gets return offer after reports of ‘not doing anything all summer’
Love and honor ’em, or hate ’em, we all have to use the public bathrooms that Miami University’s wonderful campus has to offer. But which ones should you go to often, and which ones should you stay away from? We went across campus to find the best (and scariest) latrines.
The Oklahoma Drill — America’s last true test of grit and strength.
With the onset of Miami University’s Associated Student Government president and vice president, The Miami Student Editorial staff endorsed candidates have won. However, the Humor Team would like to recognize the other potential candidates to this race as well (even though it’s over now). Here is a look at who each of our writers would like to see running ASG.