On a scale from 1 to 10, how arrested are you?

At midnight Sunday, an OPD officer was traveling west on East High Street toward Bishop Street when a male stepped into the roadway immediately in front of his cruiser.

The officer had to brake intensely to avoid striking the male subject. The man stopped walking and stared at the cruiser. He then put up his hand and continued to walk while pointing his finger at the officer.

The officer got out of his cruiser and told the subject to stop. The male continued to walk away so the officer ran, caught up to the male and grabbed his arm.

The male turned around and apologized, OPD said. The officer was able to identify the male by his Ohio driver’s license, which the male was unable to get out of his wallet himself. The license said that was 18 years old. The man was visibly intoxicated, according to the officer.

When asked where he was going, he said he was walking to Morris Hall.

The officer asked how much alcohol he had consumed that night and the male said “a little bit.” The officer asked how drunk the suspect was, on a scale from one to 10, and the male said, “six.”

The officer called for another police cruiser to help transport the suspect to OPD. When the second cruiser arrived, they placed him in the back. As the officer was filling out paperwork, he noticed the male was vomiting.

The Oxford Life Squad was dispatched because of his level of intoxication. The male had become increasingly intoxicated while waiting for the life squad. So much so, in fact, that he was unable to get from the police cruiser to the ambulance without assistance. The male was charged with sales to and use by underage persons, disorderly conduct and crossing roadway outside of crosswalk.

I know why the caged bird sobs her eyes out

At 3:30 a.m. Friday, an OPD officer responded to the 300 block of Miami Trail in reference to a suspicious female who was ringing the doorbell at a residence at which she did not live.

The arriving officer found the trembling female crying on the porch step. The officer asked where she lived and, through teary eyes, she said, “I don’t know.”

He asked for her ID, and she handed him a license from New York. She immediately attempted to take the license back, and instead hand the officer an Ohio license.

The Ohio license had the same name as the New York license, but a date of birth in 1994, making her 20 years old. The New York license was later found to be fictitious.

While speaking with the female, the officer was able to detect a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage on her breath. Unsurprisingly, the sobbing female was also unsteady on her feet.

The officer also noticed a green bar bracelet on the suspect’s wrist, indicating she was 21 years old.

When asked about the wristband, she said “it’s my fault. Don’t blame the bar; they didn’t know I used my fake.”

The female was cited with sales to and use by underage persons and certain acts prohibited. She was then delivered to her residence in Richard Hall.