Head-butter, lip-buster, scene-splitter, urinator

At 12:06 a.m. Thursday, OPD officers responded to Brick Street Bar & Grille, 36 E. High St., to a report of an intoxicated male. Upon arrival, officers found the male waiting outside the establishment, surrounded by two bar employees.

OPD said the male could barely stand, had slurred speech and had an alcoholic stench streamed from his slack-jawed mouth. The employees said when they asked the male to leave the bar, he head-butted an employee and injured their lip.

When asked for identification, the male first refused, and then claimed he could not find his license in his wallet. The officer graciously assisted him, and located an Ohio driver’s license, which made the male over 21.

When asked how much, if any, alcohol he had consumed that night, the male tried to walk away. He was taken into custody and transported to OPD. During processing, OPD said he raised a closed fist to an officer and had to be restrained.

The male was charged with disorderly conduct: intoxication and obstructing official business. He was transported to Butler County Jail, urinating en route in the back of the transporting vehicle.

Second-worst thing to happen on grassy knoll

At 11:57 p.m. Tuesday, an OPD officer was travelling southbound on North Main Street near Uptown Park when he observed a car driving the wrong way down a one way street.

The officer watched the vehicle continue the wrong way and proceed to drive on the sidewalk of Main Street. The car then crossed the street and drove into a grassy area where he came to a stop.

When the officer pulled up, the driver exited his vehicle and asked the officer what the problem was. He asked the driver why he parked where he did, and the male said he was in the parking lot.

The officer informed the male he was, in fact, not parked in a parking lot. Meanwhile, he noticed an alcoholic musk on the male. When asked how much alcohol he had consumed that night, the driver said “a few, but nothing to be concerned about,” according to OPD.

The suspect failed all field sobriety tests. The officer had to remind the male several times why he was being arrested. He was charged with OVI, one way street violation, driving on sidewalk and lack of obedience to traffic control device.