Last week, I conducted the hardest but most rewarding interview of my college career. I had the honor to speak with a father whose daughter died aboard United Airlines Flight 175 on 9/11. His daughter, Alicia Nicole, was a Miami University alumna with a bright future. I spent 30 minutes solemnly listening to her composed father describe the beauty of his lost daughter. My heart ached and I held back tears as John Titus openly spoke of his grieving process and how the loss deeply affected his wife and remaining three children.
Titus said, "Grief has the power to destroy and it also has the power to recreate." This statement has resonated with me because I have never faced grief. It's frightening to think that the way you deal with grief can affect how you heal, even after a decade. Titus spoke about his youngest son's reaction to the death. Alicia was the oldest of four and a 10-year gap separated her from her younger brother, Eli. But this gap strengthened their relationship. Titus said, "Alicia was like a second mother to him." Eli was a senior in high school when his sister was killed and he reacted to his devastation with anger. Titus explained that for his family's growth, it was necessary for each member to grieve in their own way.
Alicia had a profound impact on her family the void she left will remain empty. Typically, tragedies strike unexpectedly. That's why they are so brutal. The Titus's loss is insurmountable but my conversation did not end in tears or bitterness. It ended with me feeling encouraged and excited for the chance to tell Alicia's story. I was encouraged because in spite of losing an integral member of his family, Titus sounded more thankful to have had the chance to love Alicia than he was angered by her untimely death. It was her smile that he emphasized to me, rather than his grief. I can guarantee that not a day goes by without a remembrance of Alicia to filtrate the minds of a family member.
I am blessed to say that I have never experienced grief. My loved ones have not left me and I take that for granted. Sunday's 10th anniversary of 9/11 was an emotional and tough day for America. It was a time for all to reflect on that fearful day.
One thing 9/11 teaches us is that life is fragile. The devastating losses felt by thousands of Americans is astounding and it cannot be vindicated by life's fragility. Those families were wronged and people were unjustly murdered for the sake of a terrorist group setting an example eliciting Americans. But stories like Alicia Titus's serve to remind us that bitterness and anger do not have to dictate our lives. Alicia gave her family a sense of peace in the hours they were told of her death. She was a flight attendant on United Airlines Flight 175, the second hijacked plane that crashed into the south tower. The morning of 9/11, Alicia's mother Bev, overslept. She woke up suddenly to an energy that made her sit upright in bed. She heard Alicia's voice calling, "Mom" and looked at her clock and it read 8:42 a.m., the exact time Alicia's plane was hijacked. Bev tried to fall back asleep but she was compelled to get up and turn on the television in time to watch Alicia's plane crash into the second tower. This remembrance is important to the Titus family because it was out of the ordinary. Titus said his wife rarely turned on the television, so for her to do it on that morning meant something. Moreover, Titus said, "[Bev] felt Alicia calling her to witness what was going on." But it was a final vision of Alicia on the plane that gave Titus peace. He saw her at the back of the plane stroking the head of a two-year-old boy on her lap. The serenity he saw in Alicia helped him accept that she already made the transition. He said, "I felt like it was her coming to me saying, ‘Dad it's okay. I was already at peace.'" What was remarkable about the vision was that a few months later, Titus looked at the passenger list online and found the exact same boy in his vision.
The story of the Titus family is one that I am proud to be able to tell. 9/11 was a horrible crime but to think that one family has become more unified in their loss, gives me hope that when evil steals away joy, there is a chance for restoration.
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