By Carly Berndt, berndtcn@miamioh.edu
Born with an innate, desperate desire to live a life of financial instability seated inside non-chain coffee shops, I have decided to pursue a double major in Creative Writing and Philosophy.
In other words, my current life aspirations are to a) not be homeless, and b) own a typewriter. Though I do enjoy learning the ins and outs of the various philosophical practices, sometimes a 90-minute lecture on an innocent Wednesday morning isn't the most appealing thing in the world.
That being said, I was recently introduced to the practices and ideas of the very, very smart and very, very dead Epictetus.
To sum up how much his "Handbook," (a complied list of all his teachings) hit home for me, let's just say this was the first lecture where I didn't feel the need to online shop.
Epictetus' Handbook is more or less a guide to happiness and self-acceptance, revolving around the practice of "Stoicism." The core question that Stoicism asks is "How can humans live well and find lasting happiness?"
According to Epictetus, the key is to live life as a Stoic. When I first heard this, I was confused.
I had only ever heard the term "stoic" used with a negative connotation tied to it.
Stoic people are in control of their emotions and self-sufficient, meaning they will rarely be caught having a drunken (or sober) temper tantrum and probably have thick enough skin for an entire friend group.
There is, like with everything else, a bit of a stereotype tied to being a Stoic. We've all heard of certain people being "stoic" and maybe have urged them to let loose. However, it seems those bashing on Stoics either don't know what the word really means or are really comfortable being "the mom" of a group. Stoicism goes beyond having a blank face and a calm demeanor.
As someone who tends to veer in the direction of Stoicism, the most common labels are the generic "cold," and, "heartless," with a few scattered "selfish," and "insensitive," accusations here and there.
It is entirely possible that someone who is in control of their emotion is also cold, heartless, selfish and insensitive. However, this is not the direct product of Stoicism and not what it means to take on Stoic ideals.
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By this point, you're probably wondering if I plan on ever defining Stoicism and why Epictetus believes it is the best path toward definite and lasting happiness. Epictetus believes that happiness is achieved by only letting the things that are in your control impact your happiness, which boils down to your own actions, decisions, and thoughts.
This probably vaguely reminds you of something your mom once said: "Don't let them bother you sweetheart, you can't control how they act. Only how you act."
Ladies and Gentlemen, that right there is a general practice of Stoicism. People who practice Stoicism believe that the key to lasting happiness lies within a well developed character and not letting yourself be impacted by the actions and opinions of other people, because they are not in your control. Stoics don't let the annoyances and distractions of other people get to them.
Letting your own happiness be affected by someone else's actions or words puts you on a fast track to hating both everyone around you and yourself.
You will constantly be basing your self-worth on someone else's opinions, even though at the end of the day a person's opinions are their choice and their choice alone - no matter what you do or how you act. Basing self-worth on the fleeting and fickle actions of others sets us all up to have bad, even false, images of ourselves.
It's worth noting that Stoicism is not synonymous with cynicism, even though there is some overlap. It is a philosophical practice based on protection of the self, but stoicism is not rooted in anger or meant to harm outside parties. It's actually meant to preserve the self and the well-being of the self in order to be happy.
Basing your own happiness off other people does nothing but guarantee unhappiness and struggle. So the thought is to find your own happiness from within and let other people's opinions bounce off, not stick.
There is nothing wrong with empathizing with other people and with helping them through adversity, but such activities are not to be confused with basing personal joy on others' personal hardships or actions. I think we can all carve out a slice of Stoicism that might work for us - it helps us not to sweat the small stuff.
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