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Just don't "I do" it

Lauren Sudekum

(Dan Chudzinski)

For seniors, this is by far the busiest time of year, or maybe just the busiest year period. I know we've all heard it before, but I think it deserves repeating.

It's not just the meetings and Career Services seminars and LSAT practice sessions that are bogging us down to unprecedented lows, it's also that one overriding question of "the future" that has us all - at least, I hope it's not just me - on pins and needles.

That's why I don't understand why some senior couples (or juniors or sophomores) decide to add one more piece of confusion to the puzzle.

Why do some senior couples get engaged and married while still in college?

I completely understand the purpose of young marriages in the early days, say, pre-1920. Money was tight and marriage was a way to pool incomes and start producing children necessary to help carry the workload. Sometimes the bride's father would even pay the new husband an extremely large sum of cash. (Don't even get me started on how I feel about that custom.)

But now that college students are mostly able to live independently and now that children aren't used as farm hands and now that the most a bride's father pays for is the wedding, why do some couples insist on tying the knot at such a young age?

Some are even sealing the deal at such a young age that they can't even drink legally at their own reception. (To me, a wedding just isn't a wedding without champagne.)

The next few years are going to be blurry. There are few guarantees and a lot is up in the air. I can't imagine on top of all of the other decisions I am going to have to make, also needing to worry about a wedding dress, reception, minister, church, invitations, a menu ...

Picking out a wedding dress sounds like the most fun activity in the world to me. Gathering up your mom, all your friends with fashion sense, and spending day upon day trying on and modeling gorgeous gowns sounds like a small bite of heaven.

So why would anyone want to sacrifice this privilege, this coming of age event, for a rushed perusal in between classes and possibly end up with the wrong gown? Some things in life just can't be rushed.

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Cake tasting also seems like it'd be impossible to do right while still in college. Picking out the right cake should, if done well, consume a solid week in order to pick the appropriate cake and frosting flavors, colors and motifs.

Marriage in college also just seems awkward to me since, for the most part, college activities are designed for the single and those dating.

For example, are sororities and fraternities out of the question for the newly wedded? Would a new husband care if his blushing bride attends a pimps and hoes grab-a-chapter party on a Thursday night while he stays at home balancing the family budget? This just seems messy and wrong.

Some would argue that there's never a perfect time for huge life choices like marriage, but I would argue that there are a few times in life that are not perfect for these sorts of decisions - and college would be of them.

I'm at the point in my life where I've accepted that I don't know what I want my future to look like and that's OK.

In fact, the truth is that I change my mind just about every day about what I should do, and that may be the best part. The not knowing, while it may contribute to many a sleepless night, is what gets me up in the morning.

I do know there are some of us who have planning in their blood. The unknown is too awful a place for them, and I totally (well kind of) understand this. I also understand the power of love and the excitement of telling the world how happy you are with another person.

I just know that for me, since I am (slightly) indecisive, I am going to need a little more time and space than Miami allows for my future to be decided.


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