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Growing up too quickly

Kathleen Morton

(Dan Chudzinski)

People used to ask me all the time what I wanted to be when I grew up. I used to tell them whatever seemed like it would impress them - doctor, lawyer, teacher, president. If I would have known the words "marine biologist" back then, I would have used that just to see their facial expressions.

The objective was to convey the idea that I was on the track to "success." The definition back then, I believed, involved more money than happiness.

Then I grew up.

Now, I've got an answer for them. I want to be a kid for the rest of my life. I know, realistically, I can't transform myself back into a kid, but now that I'm 10 years older, I want my childhood back.

It used to be so much fun to be a kid - looking forward to recess, making up new games, playing with friends. My friends and I would ride our bikes to 7-Eleven to buy slushies and candy. That was our hangout place back then, which, hands down, beats spending irrational amounts of money on the weekends uptown.

Life seemed so much simpler then. There were no deadlines, tests or serious relationships. No one my age 10 years ago was thinking about marriage, graduate school or paying bills. There are so many choices now. Back then, the main decision I had to make everyday was between eating macaroni and grilled cheese.

Now I'm immersed in a world that's much like the traffic in New York City. If you don't get over to the left lane quickly, you're going to be stuck with your turn signal on until rush hour ends - which

is never.

Survival of the fittest, as they say. I'm told that if I don't find a secure job that makes enough money, I won't be able to support my family and send my children to colleges - colleges with rising tuition costs and pages of requirements to get into.

Peter Pan was right: Being an adult is overrated, and that was before a four-bedroom home cost hundreds of thousands of dollars.

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I don't want to be a workaholic, where life passes by and I forget about the things that used to seem so important.

I used to look forward to Christmas Eve, not for the presents, but in anticipation that something magical was going to happen after I closed my eyes and went to bed.

I liked vacations with my family, car rides and getting my clothes dirty outside.

Now, I feel all the magic and excitement has disappeared. Who

really wants to get dirty if you have to spend two hours doing laundry to make up for it?

Turns out, though, that this new generation of children may be more like me than I may think.

The children I see use instant messenger, carry their cell phones around and ask me if I've seen any good R-rated films lately. They watch TV and surf the Web when they hang out, instead of playing outside. Hopscotch and capture the flag have been replaced by MTV and MySpace.com.

Their style of dress is becoming increasingly more selective than when I was their age. What mom picks out doesn't cut it anymore. They have their own clothing trends and styles, emulating clothes on the Disney Channel or in High School Musical.

I am concerned about these children, not because they'll end up making more money than I ever will or that they will create far more advanced technology, but because they are missing out on what I think a good childhood should be.

I miss going to the playground when the monkey bars were too high to reach. I wish I could still order from the paper kids' menu and color on it while tuning out questions from my parents about grades and getting a job when I graduate.

I miss having everything I said be either really cute or require a timeout (as there was no in between in those days). I wonder if these kids even know what a good bar of soap tastes like.

But even if I was a kid today, I would have to grow up eventually. Slow or fast - what's the difference?

I'd never be content staying young. I wouldn't have a need to learn anything new, travel to different countries or search for the meaning of life.

I should really stop complaining about the way kids are growing up these days and how quickly it happens.

The real travesty is that they're growing up at all. I know I will always be secretly searching for Never-Never Land.