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Breaking up and branching out: finding independence after heartache

Renee Ferrel - The Miami Student
Renee Ferrel - The Miami Student

"The stress of college got to us."

Emily and John were a dynamic pair. They started out as best friends. They went to the same high school in Indianapolis and spent their summers working at a summer camp in Brookston, Ind. By their senior year, they were a couple.

Last year, John whisked Emily away to prom by asking her to the dance with a "Want to FLY away to Prom w/ Me?" poster board, complete with a faux boarding pass.

"We should've taken a break the first semester so we could find our own people. There was too much pressure and not enough time to see each other."

Emily was determined to attend Miami University from the get-go, but John committed to Miami first.

"I didn't want people to think I was following my boyfriend to college."

Emily was stuck between Miami and its close proximity to her hometown and Wake Forest, nearly 630 miles away from home. She eventually chose Miami, despite her apprehension over what others might have said about her chasing John to college. She was confident in her decision. She had been in love with Miami way before the two started dating.

"When we originally talked about breaking up before college, we worried something like this was going to happen."

The pair made their way to Oxford and spent the first month and a half getting accustomed to college life, until one night out at a bar Uptown, John decided to break things off.

He figured that the pressures of their relationship were straining Emily. She had been having difficulties adjusting at college and he unilaterally made the decision that they needed time apart from one another.

"If I could give myself advice [five months ago] I would say don't let relationships sway your college decisions, but also don't let the pressures of being in a relationship get in the way of putting yourself out there and making friends and meeting new people."

Three months after that night Emily is still struggling to move past John, but she takes solace in her newfound single status.

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"I feel very independent, I feel like I can tackle anything. I think it definitely goes through stages, but yes I feel so much more independent."

Emily is hesitant to label the future, yet she remains cautiously optimistic about John.

"We'll have to see. We just need some time, we've been best friends throughout high school and even if we don't end up getting back together he's always going to be in my life."

In order to protect their anonymity, the names of sources in this article have been changed.