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Bid Day brings joy for some, disappointment for others

By Emily Wild, For The Miami Student

The names in this story have been changed to protect the identities of the three individuals.

First-year Jacob came to Miami University to join a fraternity.

It's the reason he shipped out of his small town in California to come to Oxford, Ohio - for the red bricks, the history and to meet some Midwestern gentlemen who would become his brothers.

He's a legacy - raised in a family of multiple generations of Greek members in a west coast culture that placed Greek life at the forefront of every college experience. Joining a fraternity was never a choice, but rather, a way of life.

"That's why you go to college," he said. "To think critically and to meet your brothers."

A born-leader, Jacob always envisioned himself transitioning from his high school days as school president and Eagle Scout to the head of a Greek brotherhood at an esteemed university. He would make it his responsibility to transform it, make it the best fraternity on campus.

But most importantly, he would meet his brothers, the guys who would stand beside him on his wedding day, the guys who he would take a bullet for.

Needless to say, Jacob had lofty expectations going into recruitment.

On the first of the three days of formal fraternity rush, he received a bid from a fraternity that he greatly respected due to the distinguished reputation they held in California.

"I was happy, happy that I got one. Because I felt accepted. You know, that's all it's about in life."

He went back to the fraternity's house on the last day of recruitment to begin the formal pledging process. But when he looked around, he felt nothing but disappointment.

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These were not his brothers. He could feel it in his gut. However, the other fraternities had already given out their bids and it was too late.

"If you don't feel comfortable with the guys, then it's not worth it at all," Jacob said. "And if you're not acting like yourself in front of the guys, then you're not being true to what a fraternity should be."

Jacob dropped out of the fraternity he had so longed to be a part of, leaving him utterly shocked and with no choice but to wait until next semester to rush again in the hopes of finding his brothers.

First-years Sarah and Madison also dealt with unexpected feelings after receiving bids from sororities.

Throughout the recruitment process, Sarah clung to the promising words of assurance the active members continually offered.

"They kept saying, 'you'll know where you're supposed to be.' But there was never a point where I felt like, 'this is where I'm supposed to be and these are the people I'm supposed to be around,'" she said.

Sarah remembers Bid Day, marching to Millett Hall amongst a sea of girls wearing matching white t-shirts. Frat boys lined the streets, yelling and partying loudly, something Sarah found quite hilarious, yet slightly scary.

When they reached Millett, she was overwhelmed by the frantic swarm of girls hurrying to hand out all of the envelopes that contained each girl's personal bid card from the sorority that had chosen them.

Sarah and Madison each received their sealed envelopes and were forced to wait an excruciating five minutes before opening them along with the rest of the crowd.

Envelopes were opened and pandemonium ensued. Millett erupted into shrieks, laughs, and even sobs. To their excitement, scrawled on both Sarah's and Madison's bid cards were the names of the sororities they had listed as their number one preferences.

Minutes later, both girls were whisked into a bustling crowd headed toward the basketball court, where all of the active sorority members were waiting to greet them.

They both remember spotting the members of their sororities and sprinting forward to hug the first people they saw.

"It was so exciting," Madison said. "Everyone was dancing, I was having a good time."

But by this point, Sarah's adrenaline and enthusiasm had already begun to wear off.

"It was just kind of weird … they're like, 'you're sisters!' And I'm like, 'I don't know any of you!'"

Sarah spent the rest of the evening with her new sisters - eating, taking pictures and trying to meet people. She had always considered herself to be good at befriending others, but something about the scene that night had rendered her unable to do so.

At around 8 p.m., Sarah could think only one thing. "All I want to do is go home, I do not want to stay here anymore, I want to go back to my dorm."

Despite her initial excitement, Madison also began to feel a bit uneasy toward the end of the night. The reality of actually joining a sorority set in, and she began to question, "What did I just do?"

"It really was a fun environment, Bid Day," she said. "It was exciting, the second locations were really fun, and you got to know the girls. But I could not see myself being with them for four years. And it made me feel, honestly, a little claustrophobic."

Later that night, Sarah and Madison sat in their dorm rooms among friends who had all received bids from various sororities. Sarah admits to acting as if she had a good night, since that's what she had expected all along. Her friends did the same.

But before long, they were all crying.

"It was terrible!" Sarah finally confessed. "It was one of the worst nights of my life! I've never felt so out of place!"

Sarah said that after a week of participating in activities with her sorority, things began to look up. But the feeling of disillusionment has not yet fully subsided.

"I just think maybe the idea of organizing that many strangers to become friends is a little bit more difficult and more manufactured than people realize it is or expect it to be."

Madison, still feeling unsettled, is almost positive that she will soon be dropping out of her sorority to pursue additional interests.

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