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Battle for MU hockey supremacy

Jonathon Angarola, Senior Staff Writer

Ohio State vs. Michigan? Duke vs. North Carolina? Poppycock. Everyone knows that one of the fiercest, most brutal, rivalries in the nation is right here on campus between the ice hockey and field hockey teams.

They may not seem like your natural rivalry because, well, they don't play the same sport and aren't even the same sex, but this annual battle is one for respect and for proving to the university what the real hockey is in town.

This rivalry isn't played out on playing field, but rather, on the streets of Oxford with constant smack talk and hard glaring.

It's rumored that whenever the two teams enter the same room, it clears out, and Michael Jackson's "Billy Jean" starts playing on the boom box.

With the construction of the new Goggin Ice Center this past year came the natural upgrade to the Miami Field Hockey Complex. Coincidence? I think not.

"Of course we're the real hockey," said Courtney Fretz, field hockey forward. "We're not well known and we have a lot more potential."

These are fighting words if I've ever heard any.

Well, it's time to end the anarchy and ask for the real Miami hockey to please stand up.

Better game

Ice hockey may be more physical and quicker, but field hockey is all about being deceptive. Ice hockey is too straightforward. Put the puck in the opponent's goal and hurt, but don't kill, the other player. That's about all there is to it.

With field hockey, who knows what's going on out there?

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When a player lines up for a penalty corner, it looks more like she's getting ready to run a track race then mount a shot. Then, before you know it, another girl in a skirt is slamming down a one-timer to send the ball flying at 60 mph on the opposing goaltender.

I like both the element of surprise and skirts, and the fact that none of the rules in field hockey make any sense to me gives field hockey edge.

Advantage: Field hockey

Better atmosphere

After watching the Miami field hockey team play Saturday in 40 degree temperatures, I came to this decision pretty quickly. Miami field hockey games are too flippin' cold.

Ice hockey is complete with temperature control and, most importantly, chants replete with sexual innuendos. I'm a fan of both.

Fans that actually go to the game is obviously a plus with ice hockey, and the whole moms screeching for their girls to "go, go, go" is a minus for field hockey.

Advantage: Ice hockey

Better team

Sure, ice hockey was the first Miami team to be ranked No. 1 in any sport last season and is currently a top 10 ranked team. Big whoop.

The field hockey team is at the vanguard of their sport, and as Fretz said, has the potential to not only advance Miami's standing in the field hockey community but also advance the sport's popularity with the casual fan.

Thus, the field hockey team has more potential and is therefore the better team.

Advantage: Field hockey

Better equipment

The question comes down between skates or shoes, masks or no masks, wooden stick with a long blade or a really, really tiny one.

Shoes are boring. I use shoes all the time. Why would I be in favor of shoes? As Dane Cook says, "F*** shoes."

Masks bring an air of mystique into the match, and tiny blades are just freakishly weird.

Advantage: Ice hockey

The tally is 2-2. After hours of banging my head against the wall trying to think of which Miami hockey is sweeter, I am throwing up my hands in admitted defeat.

The rivalry will just have to continue, and I will now exert my efforts into trying to figure out how many Miami teams will finish below .500 this year.


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