Established 1826 — Oldest College Newspaper West of the Alleghenies
HUMOR

Spring BINGO

It’s that time of year where tensions are high, allergies are persistent and all-nighters are widespread. This is a reminder that you can still make school fun!

Vertical

If you got a vertical BINGO, you win a crisp high five! That’s right, you get to meet the crazy person who writes these humor columns – Just send me an email with a photo of your completed BINGO board.

Horizontal

If you got a horizontal BINGO, you win a fun drink! Am I going to pay for it — absolutely not, but you can walk over to the store and get one yourself. That’s right, this is your free pass to go get that ridiculously-expensive smoothie without your mother judging you. This writer says — nay, demands — that you have a fun drink guilt-free, absolutely no judgement.

Four corners

If you got four corners, you win … nothing. I hate to break it to you, but in no universe does four corners actually count. I will die on this hill.

Full board

If you got a full board, you win an ‘A+’ on your hardest final! You are so dedicated to this, and you deserve to be compensated for the hard work you put in. All you have to do is show up to your final and hand in your completed BINGO board, and they’ll be forced to give you 100 percent.*

*results may vary.

mahones5@miamioh.edu 

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