Something old, something new: Married couples on Miami’s campus

Elizabeth (Liz) Nassmacher-Wintrow’s life is a rom-com: her partner was her brother’s best friend, they fell in love over deep conversations on the meaning of life, and she even had her dream wedding back in December, complete with a gorgeous white dress fit for a princess.

But this isn’t your average Hallmark movie. Liz is only 19 years old and a first-year business major.

Nassmacher-Wintrow is one of the students at Miami University balancing their college experience with being married or engaged.

Despite not having the typical relationship status of a college student, she doesn’t feel like she’s missing out on much.

“[My college experience] has definitely not been the same as everyone else,” Nassmacher-Wintrow said, “but it has little to nothing to do with the direct fact that I'm married.”

She said that she doesn’t like going out, and she’s always been a little more “mature” than her age group. With that in mind, she said it makes sense that she got married so young, especially because her husband is two years older than her.

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Emma Baker, a first-year biochemistry major who has been engaged since the summer, agrees that her relationship has little to do with her not having the same college experience as everyone else.

“If I'm ever Uptown hanging out with friends, I see a lot of people who are looking for somebody they want to date or whatever,” Baker said. “ I don't have that experience, which I'm honestly very glad about, because it's just scary to put yourself out there. The thought of trying to date in college sounds horrifying.”

Photo by Provided by Emma Baker | The Miami Student
Emma Baker's fiance proposed to her in a flower field shortly before she moved to Oxford.

They both added that it has helped to have such a supportive relationship through it all. Nassmacher-Wintrow’s husband is currently in the military, and Baker’s fiance works in their hometown in Indiana.

Both women said the reaction to their early engagements has been largely positive.

“There were a few head turns,” Nassmacher-Wintrow said. “But everybody knew me, and everybody knew him, so it was more like, OK. You're gonna do it with or without us, so we’d rather go with you.’”

Baker had a similar story.

“I think that I was the most shocked of everybody,” Baker said. “I would say the reaction has been very positive. I haven't heard any negative responses to my face.”

Though their families have been supportive, their experiences are not reflective of all engaged students.

John Jones, a first-year computer science major, plans to propose to his girlfriend, Emma Worrell, before the end of the year.

While her family is all in, Jones’s family is less excited about their future nuptial.

“My parents have not been supportive at all,” Jones said. “It’s very difficult and stressful, since [parents] are the people you look for to support your choices and support you as a human being.”

Despite these setbacks, the couple plans to go through with the engagement and live together next year, skipping the two-year residency requirement.

Robert Abowitz, interim director of residence life, oversees things like student exceptions due to marriage. He said, though it’s not common, students can waive their residency requirement to live off campus in their sophomore year.

“The students would go to their housing portal, and they’d submit a request for an exemption from the two-year housing contract,” Abowitz said. “That submits a form, which goes to a committee that hears the request. You have to submit your marriage certificate when you submit the form.”

That means first-year engaged couples need to be legally married before trying to live off campus.

Abowitz has never heard of a married couple trying to live on campus together, but he said he assumes they would just be given a double room like a pair of roommates.

Nassmacher-Wintrow said she hadn’t heard of any accommodations for married couples, and wished it would be better advertised.

“I tried to ask about it, especially when I was getting my name changed,” Nassmacher-Wintrow said. “They didn’t have anything. So if there are any accommodations, I don’t have them.”

Overall, the three couples stressed that while they might not have the same experiences as their peers, they’re not “crazy” or any of the stereotypes associated with people who marry young.

“[We’re] not stupid,” Baker said. “I know some people might think that, and it's not always like a religious aspect where, ‘Oh, you can't do X, Y, Z before you're married, so we're going to get married super young.’ I graduated valedictorian. I'm a science major. I would say I'm not a stupid person. And so I like to believe that [getting engaged young] doesn't reflect poorly on my intelligence or anything, and it doesn't always end badly either.”

greenpt@miamioh.edu