Miami … Merged: ‘The best version of myself’

In a world of romance novels, reality TV shows and love songs, expectations about college romance are high – only to be met with the dissonance of piles of homework, hook-up culture and Brick Street.

“Miami … Merged” was created out of this imbalance as a chance for Miami University students to meet new people and experience what Oxford has to offer, without the stress of asking someone out or the confusion of dating apps.

Three couples were matched up out of a pool of applicants based on simple questions such as majors, hobbies and interests, to more in-depth prompts like ideal types, if they like to talk during movies and who is willing to kill bugs.

The three dates took place between Mariza and Josh, Natalie and Christian and Jane and Maggie. Their love stories may not be long, but each gained different lessons from this experience.

The participants

Natalie loves reading, checking out new coffee shops and the musical Wicked. Her bubbly and positive nature can make even a stranger feel like an old friend.

“Life is hard, and everybody needs a cheerleader,” Natalie, a first-year education major, said through a laugh. I like meeting new people, which is really why I did this.”

When asked about what she was looking for in a partner, she grinned, gushing about the things she cares about.

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“A zest for life, and a drive to do something really well,” Natalie said. “I feel like I have that in music; that’s been my whole life growing up.”

For her, a sense of mutual respect and understanding is also a priority in a relationship. She mentioned that she grew up Catholic, and while a partner didn’t have to share her exact political beliefs or religious denomination, a similar philosophy about life would be helpful. Finding a partner who shares her values, like family and kindness, is special to her.

Christian is a sophomore sales management major who likes to travel and play chess. He collects currency from every country he visits.

He wasn’t overly concerned if the date didn’t go well.

“The worst that could happen is I get a good story,” Christian said.

For him, politics weren’t off the table as a first-date conversation, as long as everyone remained respectful. He shared that he’s open-minded and values critical thinking, but leans conservative and is occasionally put off by how others react to his beliefs.

His application mentioned that he was looking for “someone who is kind, sweet and down to earth.” He elaborated on this in the initial interview, saying that who you partner yourself with can change who you are as a person, too.

“I would say someone who would make me the best version of myself … the main thing is just being optimistic because you’re around your partner the most and what they’re like is going to rub off on you,” Christian said.

Photo by Lauren Auriana | The Miami Student
Natalie and Christian discussed pastry and drink options before settling on a lavender iced latte with oat milk and a cold brew.

The date

When Natalie walked to Tous Les Jours on Sunday, she could see Christian through the window. She said she thought he was cute, as she confidently walked through the door to meet her date.

“I could tell that she was a kind person and extroverted, so that was comforting,” Christian said.

Upon meeting each other, the pair discussed pastry and drink options before finally settling on a lavender iced latte with oat milk (Natalie) and a cold brew (Christian).

Once they took their seats in front of the front window, Christian said they talked for a couple of hours about “typical first date things,” like how the weekend went, hobbies and why they picked Miami.

“She was easy to talk to,” he said. “Obviously, there were the typical awkward silences that you get, but those stayed minimal for the most part.”

Natalie said she liked how he was very smiley, because it made her feel more comfortable and that during their conversations.

“It didn’t feel like he was sitting there, staring me down,” she said. “He just had a very chill presence. I think he was nervous … but like, he was very chill and the conversation flowed.”

Natalie also said this first date helped her better understand her type.

“I think I figured out that I like someone who’s a little more loud, personality-wise, or assertive,” she said. “I felt like I did a lot of talking about myself, and I didn’t want to just talk about me.”

The pair exchanged Instagram handles at the end of the date. Christian said he didn’t feel “an immediate connection” with her, but if she reaches out, he will respond as a friend. He also added that between their date and the interview, he was too busy to message her.

Natalie agreed in that she said she didn’t think it would work out “big picture-wise” because of their differing religious beliefs, and she couldn’t tell if he was romantically interested in her.

“I did ask him during the date what his impression of me was, and all he said was ‘Oh, good,’” Natalie said. “I was like, that's not specific. So, I was like, OK, you're not interested.”

Natalie and Christian both seemed to be glad they had participated in Miami … Merged, saying that it was an interesting way to meet somebody new, even if it wouldn’t pan out long term for them.

Participants rate the date:

Christian: 7/10

Natalie: 7.5/10

wahllm@miamioh.edu

stumbata@miamioh.edu