They say the world will probably explode, but our generation wouldn’t be around to see it. They were wrong. Doomsday: Sunday, Jan. 19.
Technically, calling it doomsday is misleading, since the planet didn’t physically explode, but there was an insane amount of shell shock. Unanimous mass hysteria invoked by a single message reading, “A law banning TikTok has been enacted in the U.S. Unfortunately, that means you can’t use TikTok right now.”
The message appeared after weeks of TikTok ban rumors circulating the internet. It seemed as though every other video on my feed, more commonly referred to as the For You Page (FYP), was talking about a potential ban. On Saturday, one day before the policy enactment, a warning of imminent service unavailability was sent out to all U.S. users, prompting the most chaos-filled 24 hours of my life.
Within milliseconds, I realized a devastating fact – I’d have to fall asleep without my nightly scrolling time. I’m no stranger to the well-known adage that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone, but in this very moment, it felt uncomfortably fitting.
Every second I spent scrolling on my FYP had now accumulated into a giant void that was miserably feasting on my desperate grasp for any kind of normalcy. My finger kept unconsciously drifting to the app and clicking on it. Each time I picked up my phone, I would try to open TikTok only to be smacked in the face by reality.
My perfectly curated algorithm, gone. My incredibly relatable repost section, gone. My precious folders containing only the greatest cinematic masterpieces of edits, gone. I knew this for a fact, yet I still tried to open the app as if I was going to magically slip through some undiscovered TikTok loophole and emerge victorious.
After the third or fourth time of doing this, I threw my phone across my bed and sat silently for what seemed like a year. Was this just a weird phenomenon associated with losing something, or was I seriously addicted to this app? An app, I reminded myself, that served no real purpose on the recreational level at which I was using it.
Here is where I began to do some real thinking. What did I use my phone for before I downloaded TikTok? I didn’t have an answer. What do you think I’m missing out on right now by not having access to TikTok? Well, that feels a little ridiculous.
I’m not getting FOMO from this ban, that would be crazy. So why do I have such a weird feeling developing in my stomach right now? Wait. I have an answer for that one. Unfortunately for me, the answer is called withdrawal.
Feeling withdrawal from an inability to use a social media app sounds crazy, and that’s because it is. I began experiencing something terrifying: boredom-induced anxiety.
Without TikTok to distract me, I dug myself so far into a hole of coexisting boredom and anxiety that I ended up having a horrific epiphany: I don’t like TikTok as much as I think I do.
Sure, I love how it makes me laugh and cry (sometimes within minutes of one another). I love how every video on my FYP seems perfectly tailored to all of my emotions. I love that dopamine surge every time I get a fun notification. Alas, all these things just fuel the little screenager sitting atop my shoulder.
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And, regrettably, I just let the little screenager grow and grow until it took over, and I inevitably became one.
Losing this app, although it was only for 14 hours, made me do a lot of analyzing, both on myself and the world surrounding us. Even though I’m overjoyed to be able to scroll again, I know I’m not the only one who felt that this ban could have given us all a chance to do a mind and body reset.
The TikTok algorithm wants you to stay in this loop, to make you choose TikTok over and over again. Maybe someday you can wake up and choose to reach for your homework due at 11:59 pm instead of that damn phone.
Jada Rogers is a first-year currently studying diplomacy and global politics with a co-major in environmental science. She is a writer for the opinion section of The Student and a member of the American Institute of Professional Geologists, the Miami Green Team and Paws for a Cause.
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