I can count the number of times I’ve ventured Uptown on a weekend night on one hand. I’ve never been to Brick Street. I’ve never partied at CJ’s. I’ve never attended a fraternity party.
In my year and a half at Miami University, I haven’t seen many Uptown shenanigans. However, two weeks ago I experienced the full show when selling quesadillas and baked goods for the Miami Dance Corps (MDC) for four hours, while fully sober.
MDC held its Phi Delt Gates fundraiser on Saturday, Oct. 5 from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. I stayed the full four hours, as I’m one of its PR chairs. Plus, I felt an executive board member needed to be there at all times to ensure everything went smoothly.
I’ll admit, I felt anxious about working it, especially considering the circumstances. I am not used to being Uptown at night, so I didn’t know what to expect. I was anticipating having to fend off unwanted advances from intoxicated people. I was worried about having to settle conflicts with inebriated individuals who were incapable of understanding.
But strangely, I was proven wrong.
For the first three hours, things were eerily calm. Only two notable things happened. The first was a guy who rushed to our table mid-set-up and frantically asked to buy a baked good. We let him purchase, even though we hadn’t laid out what we were selling yet. The other was a red sports car with “I love brunettes” written across the back window and a skeleton hanging out the passenger window speeding through a traffic light. This prompted the police car sitting at the intersection of South Campus Avenue and East High Street to do a U-turn to pull it over.
After three hours of selling baked goods and cooking quesadillas, with a quick dance break every now and then, our sale was going extremely well. Members were staying past their one-hour shift because they were having fun. We were still doing great on supplies, despite our worries about not having enough cheese.
However, things went from zero to 100 soon after the clock struck midnight. I glanced behind a customer and saw a man lying in the road. I heard the cracking of branches as someone scaled the brick gates behind us and jumped over, an inch away from hitting his head on a bench. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a guy grab a half-cooked grilled cheese sandwich off our griddle and walk away without paying. I watched another guy, who was waiting for his own sandwich, run after the thief.
I wasn’t able to see the confrontation, so I can’t say exactly what happened. What I can recount is, in a moment of presumed victory, the guy came back wearing the thief’s sunglasses, saying “I didn’t get your sandwich, but I got his sunnies.”
Clearly, Uptown did not disappoint with entertainment. However, my previous expectations of how that night would play out were wrong. Sure, I now have some entertaining stories to share with my friends and family, but the amount of kindness I received from intoxicated people triumphed over the rudeness I was expecting.
To start, a clearly intoxicated guy who was buying a brownie leaned in close to me and said, “You’re doing the Lord’s work.” I’m not religious, but I’m pretty certain there’s no mention of baked goods sales in any religion. He then shared some of his fries with me and my friend.
Some people tipped us without buying anything or were extremely apologetic when they couldn’t. Numerous students complimented my and my PR partner’s matching Halloween-themed Bluey shirts. I’d tell a girl I liked her outfit or that she looked pretty, and I’d be met with the sweetest “thank you.”
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There will always be those who go too far when drinking, but not every person Uptown on a weekend is blackout drunk. I expected to encounter the worst of the worst that night, yet the majority of people I interacted with were incredibly kind and engaging.
By the end of the night, we had raised roughly $300. I was exhausted and every muscle in my body hurt. But the memories I gained from those four hours made it all worth it.
Maybe our fundraiser was coincidentally on a crazy night. Or maybe the promise of cheap baked goods and quesadillas is enough to compel an intoxicated person to grab something right off the griddle or chase down a thief. Either way, the surreal things I saw that night and the kind people I talked with left me a little more open to the thought of spending a Saturday night sober Uptown.
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