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How you know it’s fall in Oxford

The leaves are changing, hoodies and flannels are out in full force and the pumpkin spice is flowing through Starbucks. It’s everyone’s favorite time of the year: fall in Oxford. Now that we have reached the end of summer, you may notice a few things happening on campus. Peculiar (some may even say spooky) things are happening all across campus. You know it's fall when…

You see Farmer kids walking around in suits

Who do these people think they are? Look at them walking around in their fancy blue suits and red ties, matching like clones of the Grand Army of the Republic

I bet they have a superiority complex about them. That or they watched “The Wolf of Wall Street” ten too many times. 

As they march into the gigantic fortress of Farmer, I’m inclined to believe they learn about tax loopholes and loan sharking, but I unfortunately don’t have an inside source. Wink, wink.

Once they are done playing with their Elmo coloring books, they go talk to former farmers and talk about who knows what, in order to secure their $70,000 job selling shampoo to bald people. 

First years are crying to their parents about the C they got on their first exam

I remember when I was caught in this cycle. For whatever reason, my high school decided to not tell me that C’s get degrees. Man, would I have been saved a ton of stress. My most distinct college memory is sobbing for 6.9 minutes in Armstrong after getting a C- on my biology exam. 

You would have thought my dog died the way tears deluged from my eyes. Luckily for me, my mommy told me to start acting like a big boy, and I eventually got over it. However, not all first years are so lucky. 

I saw five of them today on North Quad as I went to watch a nice bald guy give a speech. One of them was even WILLINGLY contemplating watching the replay of the Miami vs. UC game, saying “what even in the purpose of life.” 

Halloween costumes begin coming up in conversation

The instant the trees show an inkling of changing colors, a buzz starts to reverberate from the Uptown bars all the way to Peabody Hall; Halloween is near. 

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Halloween is arguably Miami’s second most important holiday, after Green Beer Day. If there is one thing Miami students are good at, it’s finding an excuse to party, making Halloween an extremely important day. Nothing says fall at “the most beautiful camper there ever was” than hearing  discussions about which slutty Disney character to dress up as.

Personally, I will not be dressing up as a slutty version of a children’s movie character. I will be dressing up as the internet sensation, Moo Deng. If someone manages to make my costume idea slutty, I might just have to burn my eyes out with Brick Juice. 

Sweater weather 

For some reason, midwesterners LOVE to spend inordinate amounts of time talking about the weather. No matter who you talk to, they will have some opinion about the weather. And it’s not only for one season, but every season. 

In the fall, there are two main opinions every Midwesterner has: the leaves need to change and the temperature needs to drop. Not just because it's time to ditch the flip flops and swamp-like humidity, but because of what comes with the change: football and foliage. 

This means talking about your fantasy football team, rather than your summer internship. Or taking pictures of the leaves changing and jumping in leaf piles: simplicity and feeling like home. 

Sorry, I got a little nostalgic there. Sniffle. 

Are we missing any sure signs of Fall in OxVegas? Email us!

john1595@miamioh.edu

oviattcc@miamioh.edu


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