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What if Miami was a fantasy league

If you’re anything like me, you're obsessed with fantasy football. What has fascinated me recently, though, is the concept of fantasy football. At its core, fantasy football is all about betting on other people’s job performance. And, because we live in a simulation, this got us thinking. Are other people betting on our performance? What would fantasy football for college students look like? Who are the star players? Well, we have come up with our most educated guess on what scoring would look like, and who the elite fantasy assets are. So, let's dive into our comprehensive guide. 

Positions: Your position is based on your academic department. Starting lineups include one CCA, Two CAS, Two FSB, Two EHS, one CEC, and one FLEX. 

Scoring: This is where the creators of the game made things a little twisted. Scoring is not based on your academic performance. Oh no. It's based on your social interactions. Here are examples of how points are scored:

One point: Say an actually interesting fact during an icebreaker, call your mom, go to Maple while the ice cream machine is working. 

Two points: Get into a new club, go to office hours, get a job interview.

Five points: Talk to a person of the opposite gender, get blackout drunk on a Tuesday, go on a legitimate date with the person you met at the bar last week.

Players can also lose points for actions such as: Remaining in a situationship, having their fake ID confiscated, texting their ex, waiting in the under 21 line at brick for more that 30 minutes, getting written-up by their RA, going to Chipotle while it’s out of more than one item, etc.

Now that you have a comprehensive understanding of the scoring system it’s time to talk about who we think the creators would recommend drafting in the first several rounds. 

We predict that these creators will want to start with drafting a study-abroad student. These students don’t run the risk of losing many points due to being away from Oxford. They also tend to have some high scoring weeks, as they are able to completely disregard school. These students are easy anchors for your team (think of a Christian McCaffrey or Breece Hall type).

In the middle rounds, you want to go for the upside. Typically, these are any Greek life students who aren’t in Farmer or CAS. It's tougher to find “talent” from these smaller Miami colleges, so getting some potential sleeper picks is a must during the middle rounds.

And finally, at the end of drafts, you’re looking to fill out your CAS and Farmer bench spots with potential breakout players. These are students who recently or are about to turn 21, who may be more inclined to become “social.” You know you’re most likely going to cut them for someone else, but if they pan out, you will be rubbing it in your leaguemates faces. 

If this seems odd and complicated, it's because it is. As you can tell there's a reason this sort of thing doesn’t actually exist. Because I would make a ton of money playing it, and Vegas can’t take that risk.

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oviatcc@miamioh.edu


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