We’re Miami students, of course we… dump

We’re Miami students, of course we hate OU.

We’re Miami students, of course we wear Lululemon religiously.

We’re Miami students, of course we go out every night.

We’re Miami students, of course we hate OPD.

We’re Miami students, of course we introduce ourselves with the name of our fraternity or sorority.

We’re Miami students, of course we pee on the Sundial turtles.

We’re Miami students, of course we crave booze every day of the week.

We’re Miami students, of course we are from the five C’s.

We’re Miami students, of course we pay $12 for a bagel.

We’re Miami students, of course we complain about the dining hall food.

We’re Miami students, of course we survive by consuming 6 times the recommended caffeine intake.

We’re Miami students, of course we created a whole day as an excuse to drink green beer and skip class.

We’re Miami students, of course we go to Florida for spring break.

We’re Miami students, of course we step on the seal.

We’re Miami students, of course we have presentations about Sex in the Basement.

We’re Miami students, of course we go to hockey games to watch our team lose.

We’re Miami students, of course we ride around on scooters instead of walking.

We’re Miami students, of course we have a contraceptive vending machine in our student center.