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Thank you seniors

To my graduating TMS seniors, 

It has been my genuine pleasure to be a part of this organization with you. Now, I want to take the time to thank you.

Thank you Sean, for helping me avoid getting canceled. Your ever vigilant eyes keep my humor articles in check. I know you did this not to protect the newspaper from publishing something offensive or inappropriate, but out of your love for me. 

Thank you Luke, for being the best newsroom dad I could ask for. When the previous Editor-in-Chief gave YOU custody of me, she bestowed upon you a monumental task: keeping me, the King of Newsroom Shenanigans, in check. No one else would have the patience to deal with me constantly throwing things around the newsroom and randomly screaming. You are such a sweet angel. 

Thank you Alice a.k.a. ALL ICE a.k.a the Queen of Girl Boss, for letting me pass out on your couch that one night after consuming many, many alcoholic beverages. I will never forget throwing up in your roommate’s bathroom, then her getting really ticked off that a rogue humor editor was using her bathroom. 

Thank you Macey (Mae Mae), for making my incredibly stupid graphic ideas into reality. I don’t think anyone in this world could make such a beautiful graphic of me throwing up sorority hand signs into a reality. You are blessed with a gift, use it wisely. 

Thank you Jake and Jack, for guessing the size of George Washington’s … well, you know … with me when we went to Washington, D.C. Sometimes, guys just need to be dudes, and you two made me feel like one of the dudes. P.S. Jack, I will never forget sleeping with you. It was an honor to share a hotel room bed with you. 

Thank you Claudia, for helping me out in our MJF class. I would be failing the class by even more percentage points than I am now if it weren’t for you. Also, when is our next quiz?

Thank you Devin, for helping me turn a dream into reality. I never thought that in my lifetime, a humor editor would be paid. But with you as business manager, my dream came to fruition. Bless you.

Thank you Reece, for lighting up the newsroom with your infectious laugh and comedic relief. If Patrick or I were not the humor editors, you definitely would be. The fathead in the newsroom will be a constant reminder of your greatness for generations to come. 

Thank you Ragan, for writing for the humor section. Your contribution is greatly appreciated. I still struggle to spell your name by the way, but I’m confident I got it right this time. 

Thank you Abbey, for always being friendly at hockey games when I was a little freshie. I had very few friends that year, but you always made me feel like I had one at the hockey games. Remember we got on TV that one game? LOL!

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Thank you Patrick, my partner-in-crime, my pookie bear, for being the best Co-Humor Editor a man could ask for. You are the funniest person I know, and your sexy morning voice lives rent free in my head 24/7. Please continue to tell people about how you took a crap in your host family’s bidet. I will miss you so much my friend. 

I love you seniors. Thank you. 

john1595@miamioh.edu


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