Make it make sense: Valentine’s Day in the U.S. is a vile experience

Last weekend, I went flower shopping at Kroger. Walking through the store, I couldn’t help but notice the section dedicated to Valentine’s Day. From overpriced squishmallows to different brands of chocolates, I wondered if the holiday actually meant anything.

I picked one of those plushies, a soft replica of Nemo, and put it in the cart. I realized then that I am no better than any other person who fell to the consumerist tendencies prevalent in the U.S.

The issue, however, is not in the products themselves. Every loved one — even those who aren’t fans of a consumerist Valentine’s Day — appreciates the attention of food and flowers.

Yet, Valentine’s Day in the U.S. seems to be less about love and more about giving and bragging. A lot of my college peers look at Valentine’s Day as a celebratory experience that will somehow revive their relationships.

It becomes about who gets what, how much they get and who posts the gifts on social media first.

Another experience that confirmed this transactional nature was when I gifted my friend a necklace for no reason. I was raised in a manner where giving gifts was the most normal experience, and I was shocked to see how many of my American friends felt the need to immediately return the “favor.”

Valentine’s Day only further normalized this sad, transactional behavior. As much as it sounds like a cliche, love cannot be bought, and it certainly cannot be exchanged like a pair of jeans that don’t fit you. There is no refund for a broken heart, and research shows that one in 14 adults in the U.S. is likely to break up right before or on Valentine’s Day.

Many college students are still in the process of figuring out their own lives while juggling a romantic relationship. No matter how good it might be for the reputation of Miami University to nurture Miami Mergers, Valentine’s Day turns this hectic environment into a vile experience.

On Valentine’s Day, the pressure placed on students to use this holiday for something “productive” is intensified. Events, gifts, cards — every student organization uses this time to promote their message. The other day, I got an email saying: “For Valentine’s Day, show your love for democracy by educating your loved ones about gerrymandering.” While this is a great cause, it makes the Valentine’s Day experience even more daunting.

In Macedonian culture, Valentine’s Day in the American sense started to emerge a couple of years ago as a result of capitalized processes and increased foreign investment. Big supermarkets like Kroger started to open on every corner and, due to Western influence, young people became more and more attracted to the American way of celebrating Valentine’s Day. But even then, most people found the idea quite absurd.

I remember the first time an ex-partner in Macedonia bought me a box of chocolates on Feb. 14. They were the same as the ones I recently tried in the United States — very sweet with a plastic taste. My mother threw them in the bin the next morning and let me keep the box as a reminder that Valentine’s Day is a joke.

Instead, we celebrate St. Trifon’s Day — after whom Valentine’s Day in the United States was named. He had little to do with romance and a lot to do with wine. In Macedonia, we simply call Valentine’s Day Wine’s Day.

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Since Macedonia is a winemaking region, I used to look forward to Wine’s Day with joy because it meant that I got to join my grandfather and my extended family to prune the grapevines in the vineyard.

I was 5 years old when my grandfather started making this traditional “special wine” which was really just grape juice with honey. He would make it by hand every year for me, my mom and my aunt. His two daughters and I were the only women in the family, and winemaking was his way of telling us that he loved us.

Later, when we would head back to the city from the vineyards, I would stare out of the window and look at the drunken faces of strangers and I knew that they too, had their celebratory rituals.

People were smiling, laughing and kissing. There were no phones, no consumerist tendencies, no chocolates or plushies. Only good times and showing our love.

Valentine’s Day in the U.S. could benefit greatly from diversifying the holiday traditions. Imagine what would happen if we actually celebrated love instead of capitalism.

Anastasija Mladenovska is a second-year political science, finance and Russian, East European & Eurasian studies triple major from Macedonia. She is involved with the Honors College and Scholar Leaders. She also volunteers for the League of Women Voters of Oxford.

mladena@miamioh.edu