My dearest fall,
At long last, you’ve returned back to Oxford.
You bring us sweaters, pumpkins and leaves all without saying a word.
Although you are kind, I wouldn’t say you’re a saint.
For as I give you love, I also have some complaints.
Our Starbucks now serves the beloved pumpkin spice.
It tastes of sugar, and it’s sweet and it’s incredibly nice!
Why did you have to make pumpkin spice so mainstream?
Us students don’t wanna wait hours for a single latte with steam!
The nice green leaves of Oxford now fall to the ground.
And when we step on them, they crunch and make some “interesting” sounds.
Don’t make too many leaves fall though, give the trees a break.
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We can’t even log in to Canvas properly, we can’t handle having leaves to rake.
Cobwebs hang up on doors and students quiver with fear.
For when you come around, spooky season is here!
I do wish you could make another Halloween movie more of a central focus.
I can’t handle yet another screening of Hocus Pocus
You bring us Halloween parties with costumes galore.
And everywhere we turn, there’s a Spirit Halloween store!
Although, I do have a grudge with your cold weather feeling when Halloweekend comes and I can’t wear anything revealing.
We trade in our tank tops for long fuzzy sweaters.
You take away our sun and give rain, making the grass much wetter.
I don’t think this is a fair equivalent exchange.
We can’t walk to our 8 ams with itchy sweaters AND our pant bottoms completely stained.
You give us cute pajamas and caramel popcorn rounds.
We stay in, make cookies and watch classics like Gilmore Girls and Charlie Brown!
Could you please keep yourself this way so we don’t lose our fall obsession?
We want cute fall movies and scented candles not seasonal depression
We hope that this letter reaches you well.
And that you actually take note of all the ideas we had to tell.
We really can’t complain about you fall, you give us a connection!
Signing off with love,
The TMS Humor Section
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