Love and honor ’em, or hate ’em, we all have to use the public bathrooms that Miami University’s wonderful campus has to offer. But which ones should you go to often, and which ones should you stay away from? We went across campus to find the best (and scariest) latrines.
Most resembles a war bunker — King Library
This one is fairly self explanatory. The stall door looks like it could withstand a flame thrower. If a severe water balloon fight ever breaks out, I know where I’m headed.
Most likely to have an awkward bro moment — Irvin Hall
This one goes without saying. All of the homies can understand our pain with this one. Even after removing the urinal on the far left, it just ain’t right.
Most awkward arrangement — Alumni Hall
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When nature calls, you want to make sure you have a nice, comfortable seat on the thinking stool. However, this toilet in Alumni Hall will make you repeatedly bump into the wall. Good luck getting to that toilet paper.
Most likely to see something you can’t unsee — The Rec
We support the right of everyone to use the pool at the Rec, and have a place to do their business afterward. However, some of the people at the rec don’t really understand boundaries. We’ll just leave it there.
Creepiest bathroom — Harrison Hall
If you haven’t had the pleasure of peeing with the cockroaches and avoiding the inward swinging bathroom doors of Harrison’s stalls,then you haven’t experienced true terror. Straight out of a horror movie, the poor lighting and lack of maneuverability create the perfect ambush spot for Helen Peabody and all the other Miami ghosts.
Most Professional — Farmer School of Business
Of course Farmer has the most bougie urinals the world has ever seen. Somehow, this bathroom is always spotless (finance majors don’t have the best aim). While intimidating for non-FSB students, we recommend giving this one a try. We just wouldn’t recommend going Number Two. Miami paid millions of dollars for this building but couldn’t set aside $10 for some two-ply toilet paper.
Honorable Mentions:
Most likely to have a toilet stolen — Dodds
Did you hear about the urinal smashing that took place earlier this year?
Most likely to have pee on the floor — Brick
It’s not if pee gets on the floor — it’s when.
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