12:01 a.m. – Miami University Marching Band kicks off the April Fools’ festivities by marching into King Library playing “Mo Bamba.”
1:12 a.m. – Flower Hall fire alarm was set off, and all building exit signs were reported missing.
2:17 a.m. – Havighurst fire alarm was set off.
4:00 a.m. – President Greg Crawford’s bike was stolen and replaced with a tricycle.
4:20 a.m. - Weed was planted in the gardens behind Farmer School of Business. It’s unclear at this time if this was for a prank or not.
5:27 a.m. – FWORD writes the F-word on buildings across campus to promote their organization
6:32 a.m. – Trail of pre-workout and protein powder leading to the Rec attracts rabid gym-rats, facility swarmed.
7:05 a.m. – Richard Hall sign torn down, replaced with crudely made sign that reads, “DICK HALL.”
10:49 a.m. – Pigs numbered 1, 2 and 4 were released in King Library, sending librarians into panic.
11:42 a.m. – Greek Life students flooded into Armstrong Student Center after downing 327 Taco Bell party packs, effectively turning the building into a gas station.
12:00 p.m. – President Crawford was spotted pulling the fire alarm in Armstrong. No security footage was available to confirm first-hand witness reports.
1:16 p.m. – Art student placed banana in art museum, critics call it a masterpiece.
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3:40 p.m. – Hell Is Real people showed up on campus and were immediately struck by lightning.
4:01 p.m. – Lululemon announced its intent to open store in Oxford, sending sorority quad into an absolute frenzy.
4:20 p.m. - Weed, again.
4:30 p.m. – Ahead of the dinner rush, all of the silverware was stolen from Maplestreet Dining Commons and replaced with Twizzlers.
5:01 p.m. – Peabody Hall fire alarm was set off. Students seen near fire alarm locations blamed the ghost of Helen Peabody.
5:30 p.m. – All of the red bricks on High Street were replaced with yellow bricks. The soundtrack to “The Wizard of Oz” was audible Uptown for about an hour, though the source of the music was not discernable.
6:56 p.m. – Students prank athletic department by actually attending a sporting event.
7:02 p.m. – MacCracken Hall hotboxed by students, earning name “Crack House.”
8:00 p.m. – Entire hockey team declares intent to transfer, actually not a prank even though it’s April Fools’; too spooked by actually having fans in their stands.
9:25 p.m. – Dennison Hall fire alarm was set off.
10:07 p.m. – Oxford Police Department tried to prank students but just arrested them instead.
10:31 p.m. - Entire Oxford Fire Department staff quit, citing an absurd amount of fire alarm activity.
11:59 p.m. – Hepburn Hall Hep-burns to the ground after a student sets popcorn on fire in the microwave. Oxford Fire Department was unable to control the fire due to a sudden lack of staff.
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