I deleted social media and now I’m better than everyone

I’m rewatching “Sex and the City” … again. Sure, I keep coming back for the clothes, the drama and the one-liners, but it’s the ’90s nostalgia that gets me everytime.

I was halfway through season one last week when I deleted social media – the ultimate tribute to the last decade of the 20th century.

I know a lot of people who go through phases with deleting social media, but this is my first time. But the reason I waited this long to pop my cherry was because I always genuinely believed I wasn’t addicted to social media.

Winter break changed that thought. I thrive when I’m busy because I don’t like being bored (I know, I’m so unique). But I woke everyday with nothing to do, no schedule to follow and nowhere to be.

So, I scrolled on TikTok, then Instagram, then Twitter, and once I ran out of stuff to look at, I’d refresh TikTok and start again until I had to get up because I was hungry.

I’m a big fan of having a morning routine, but that little ritual was a trashy way to start my day. I knew it too, but I couldn’t help it – and that’s when I realized it was an issue.

So, I deleted the holy trinity listed above. When I actually struggled the next day, I felt embarrassed. I woke up, turned to my phone, read the texts I’d received and then … I felt anxious. All morning I felt a physical itch that stemmed from my lack of scrolling.

That initial anxiety spiraled. I felt awful about myself; I had to admit to myself that I actually had a problem, and that not being able to have Instagram affected me on a physical and emotional level.

I thought I was better than that. About a year ago, I unfollowed everyone on social media that made me feel bad about myself. I followed people who promoted body positivity, healthy lifestyles and cool wardrobes. When I downloaded TikTok a few months ago, I only followed people who inspired me with their clothing, or made me laugh, and then I only scrolled on the “Following” side so I wouldn’t get sucked down the “for you page” drain.

But I ended up falling into a completely different trap. All the girls that I followed because they inspired me or made me smile also created a small voice in my head.

Where did she find that dress? Her clothes are so much cooler than mine. That’s such a cute outfit but it would make my thighs look so big. She’s so much more unique than I am. She’s so much funnier than me. I wish I had those $300 boots.

I was playing the comparison game with people I had never met before, and with the curated highlight reels they were posting. And I didn’t even catch on until a few days after I deleted the apps. I only noticed the voice when it stopped.

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The common annoyance associated with people who don’t have social media, is that they treat the fact that they don’t have it as a core personality trait – like they’re better than everyone for not participating.

But I really am better than everyone. The only reason that’s true, is because I’m out of people to compare myself to. Without all of the “inspiration” popping up on my feed, the only people I see are the ones in my real life. It’s a lot easier to maintain a realistic image of yourself when you’re surrounded by only realistic images of others.

I also enjoy being around the people in my life more. I’m way more present and it’s something I didn’t know I was missing. My boyfriend and I have been laughing, talking and touching more because I really feel like I’m with him when we’re together.

My stress has gone down because I have so much more time in the day. I enjoy waking up in the morning and staring at the ceiling, and closing my eyes at night without the light of a screen wearing them out.

I didn’t expect to feel it this much, but I really do feel so much better without it in my life. I still watch YouTube videos and make boards on Pinterest, but the holy trinity remains gone.

I have no desire to redownload my social media anytime soon, because I feel like they dried me out. I feel like I’m soaking up more life now, and when you find that, it feels good to hold onto it.

So maybe try to delete for a week, just to see how you feel – because the impact could be huge.

@rebeccawolff16

Wolffrg@miamioh.edu