Live for the now, you’ll die anyhow

Live today like you’ll die tomorrow… or whatever.

A common expression that encourages people to take risks and do what makes them happy because, well, we’re all going to die and some of us could die tomorrow.

But how realistic is this, really?

If I knew, like really knew, that I would die tomorrow, my day would look like this:

Get up … early, eat the food I want, take a walk on some beautiful path, listen to sweet music, look into the eyes of the people I love and live a day of complete and total honesty and freedom of self.

Pretty great day if you ask me. But, if that was everyday, it couldn’t be a great day anymore. Beautiful days are only so beautiful because of normal days and bad ones — that’s just logic.

So, how can this be applied to everyday living?

Perspective.

I feel as though about every two years, I sort of morph into whatever my next phase of personality and life is. I’ve gone from goody-two-shoes, to reckless, to not caring at all and now … I can’t tell yet because I have zero objectivity on my present state of being, obviously. But, I’m certainly in a new place.

Values change. By that, I don’t mean your core values — what makes you who you are in your soul. I mean what motivates you and gives you a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Maybe you’ll find a steady thing eventually, but I’m 20 years old, and I act like it. So, when it comes to goals and future plans, my eyes are always way bigger than my naive little mind even knows. Dream big and all that jazz, of course. But, I find myself being hyper aware of how often I change my mind from one thing to the other, doing little to no research on any of it.

And that’s straight-up beautiful. I live in the moment, and I’ve accepted not planning ahead when I change my mind about who I want to be more than I change my sheets.

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I hope I don’t die tomorrow and I don’t think I will, but who I am right now and the things I value and prioritize will die. Sure, it might be a slow transition, but the me that exists in this moment won’t anymore.

A few years ago, I would’ve told you about my plans to go to a fashion design school in LA, and probably also way too much about the guy I was dating at the time — I mean, he was the captain of the football team…

Or the year and some change after that, you could've heard about my secret desire to go to take a gap year so I could move to Mexico, become bilingual and learn how to bartend, because those were “real-world skills.”

Now you’d hear different aspirations with a tone of sarcasm, because I no longer believe in making plans my future self will have complete disinterest in.

Slow and steady, the old me died out like Juicy tracksuits from 2003.

Don’t live today like you’ll die tomorrow, but maybe try and live today knowing that in a couple years everything that you’re scared of right now will no longer matter to you.

Put youself out on a limb, don’t be afraid to fuck up because who you are a year from now or two years from now is going to cringe at you either way. But at least try and give the future you a reason to thank you for something — anything.

You don’t need to confess your love to your ex … You don’t — OK? But be unapologetically you. Wear the clothes that bring you joy, eat food that feeds your soul, be around the people that laugh at your jokes and go ask for that dude’s number.

Be who you are in complete honesty, because the you that you have the pleasure of being today won’t exist later on in your life. So, you owe it to yourself to be just as stupid, hopeful, honest and bold as you think you can be, because you’ll never get another chance to be in this moment as this version of yourself ever again.

That version will die tomorrow.