Fixing the feng shui: Brick Street moves trash can everyone pees in away from the hand dryer

The old stand-by. The pee-can. God’s loophole.

It goes by many names, but anyone who’s someone in Oxford has taken a fat piss in the men’s bathroom trash can in the Brick Street Bar & Grill TM. But this gray beauty is moving up in the world, leaving its home underneath the hand dryer and taking its rightful place among the stars.

In an effort to “spruce up the place,” the Brick Street staff decided to make some big changes to their iconic men’s bathroom. Most notably they moved the designated pee trash can across the room to sit between the first and second urinals, citing concerns over “pee air.”

“Well, you know, the hand dryer used to blow down right into the thing, and it would just blast all the piss up into the room,” said bartender Hunter Thompson. “Plus, we felt like it deserved a chance at the big leagues. Like Rudy, you know?”

The remodel includes the addition of five locks to each stall so that patrons may break them at their leisure, empty liquor bottles in the urinal, and the long-overdue removal of the soap dispenser, which no one was using anyways, all to give it that classic Brick Street feel that keeps guests coming back.

These changes come just weeks after the controversial installation of a baby pool’s worth of mystery fluids on the restroom floor, which was met with mixed reviews.

“See, I expect the still water around the bar,” explained Brick Street regular and junior George Topor, “but when I get to the bathroom, the only liquid I want to see is that smooth golden current hitting the bottom of the pee-can and, sometimes, the sink.”

Whether you’re a regular user of this local legend or a fresh face looking to make a splash, the Brick Street men’s bathroom trash can’s new home is sure to keep giving guests the “best piss of the night.”

@seanmullee

mulleesp@miamioh.edu