Former humor editor found dead with only one agility sandal
Editor of the humor section, goblin king and father: Michael Serio was a one of a kind.
We at The Student are all feeling the physical and emotional effects of Michael's absence: peace, quiet and no more bills from our attorney, because Michael isn't writing stories that will get us sued anymore.
In fact, Michael isn't writing at all anymore.
That's because, even though Michael died years ago, his soul finally gave up at 5:30 a.m. on Sunday, Sept. 8, a.k.a. the witching hour.
Luckily, none of Michael's kin knew about his hidden sleep hole, so they were able to avoid witnessing the gruesome scene.
The Butler County coroner's office has yet to determine the cause of death, because "none of these are human body parts."
Oxford police will not disclose whether foul play may have occurred, but the bloody greatsword in my kitchen says otherwise.
May we pray for our fallen brother, friend, fiend and lover - a true Renaissance man.