Established 1826 — Oldest College Newspaper West of the Alleghenies
NEWS

'He cared': Family, friends mourn death of sophomore Mark Hyams

For Chad Horton and his freshman-year group of friends, Room 321 of Dodds Hall was the designated hangout spot.

Third floor, two doors down from the center flight of stairs, facing onto Maple Street. That was where Mark Hyams lived.

"Everyone would always go to Mark's room, because he was such a nice host," Chad said.

"That dude, he loved to share.

"You couldn't walk into his room without him offering you something. 'Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat? A drink?' If you were cold, he'd take the jacket off his back to give to you.

Mark, a sophomore psychology major, died suddenly on March 8. He would do much more for a friend than offer up a snack.

He'd wake up in the middle of the night for his freshman-year roommate and close friend, Alex Perez, who battled frequent anxiety and insomnia.

"If I woke up in the middle of the night, he would wake up too, even though he had class at like 8 in the morning," Alex said. "He'd wake up too and make sure I was OK."

Mark would try to make his friends laugh -- and usually, he'd succeed. Chad remembers him as a "goofball" who was ever-willing to poke fun at himself.

Mark's Dodds Hall neighbor Mike Hill laughs when he thinks of his first meeting with Mark.

The two met on move-in day, and later that night, Mark wanted to invite his new neighbor to get dinner. But there was one problem -- Mark had forgotten to get Mike's cell-phone number. So he looked Mike and his roommate up in Miami's online student directory and sent them an email asking if they wanted to eat together.

Chad remembers that Mark liked to make late-night runs to nearby MacCracken Market, just before the store closed, and buy a round of snacks. That was always good for a laugh.

Enjoy what you're reading?
Signup for our newsletter

"We would just be sitting around, hanging out, and Mark would just leave all of a sudden and he'd come back, he'd have a lollipop for you and a bag of chips for someone else," Chad said. "He was always giving gifts and being funny. He would buy the most random things for people."

Often, in Mark's room, the friends played video games -- Mark was an Overwatch fan -- but even though Mark was hosting, he rarely picked up a controller himself. He was more content to watch his friends play and chat with them.

Most of all, though, Mark would listen.

"He would pretty much drop everything, look you in the eye, and give you feedback on the situation," Mike said.

Whether it was comforting Alex over a low test grade or coaching Mike through relationship issues, Mark listened.

That was what Alex, Mike and Chad told Mark's mother, Joan Schmitz, at Mark's visitation on March 11.

Joan wasn't surprised. Mark, she said, had been like that since he was a boy.

"He'd come home from school and tell you who was there, who wasn't there, who got in trouble, who did this, who did that," she said. "He sincerely listened to people. I'm hearing over and over again ... that he always was thinking of other people, that he was so kind, that he was always taking care of somebody."

That compassion, Joan said, showed in how Mark spent his time outside of school. As a student at St. Xavier High School in Cincinnati, Mark volunteered every week at the Bethany House, a shelter for women and children. He traveled to Guatemala on a mission trip with classmates, and started his Miami career by participating in the Community DIVE (Diverse Immersion & Volunteer Experience) program through the Office of Community Engagement & Service.

When going through Mark's possessions, Joan and her husband, Guy Schmitz, found a business card for Butler County Big Brothers Big Sisters in Mark's wallet. Joan and Guy later found out that Mark had recently approached county officials about becoming a Big Brother.

"What I remember most about Mark is that, honestly, he cared," Alex said.

Joan said that that was just like Mark's father, Alan Hyams, who died of cancer when Mark was 3 years old. Father and son shared an introverted, caring nature that Joan thought sparked Mark's interest in psychology.

But as of late, Mark had been developing his own sense of self.

"Where he was at college, he was becoming less shy and was able to show more of his true personality that had been latent -- even from me -- for so long because he was such a quiet, kind of reserved kid," Joan said.

At the time he died, Joan was just starting to feel her son was finding his footing. He'd told her several times how much he liked his friends. He was trying out a computer science class this semester and contemplating adding a computer science minor, if he liked it. He had just worked his first shift as a bouncer at Brick Street.

Then, Joan said, "he ran out of time."

Chad got the call from Alex, Mark's roommate, on a Thursday morning around 8 a.m.

"'Something terrible happened. Mark's passed away,'" Alex told him.

"No one really knew how to put those words together," Chad said.

While a toxicology report is forthcoming, police told Joan that Mark, a Type 1 diabetic for over 12 years, had likely died of a diabetic episode.

Mark had lived 20 years, one month and one day.

"I've known since he was 2 years old that he was an old soul," Joan said, "and I think that old souls don't need a lot of time on earth. I think that Mark did what he needed to do, and it was his time."

Joan treasures an essay Mark wrote during his senior year of high school, after a childhood friend died in a car accident. The friend's parents hosted a scholarship contest in their son's memory. Mark entered, writing a "letter to my future self" about the lessons his friend had taught him.

"Life is too precious to stay to [your]self, so strive to always spread kindness and empathy towards others," Mark wrote in his letter. "I hope that one day, wherever you are, you stop to reflect on which relationships you choose to start and which ones you may have passed. I hope that you come to realize the importance of everyone in your life, before the clock runs out of time."

Mike Hill knows that he, for one, already has.

"Every day, I think about Mark," Mike said, "and I think it's going to be that way for a while."

Mark Hyams died March 8 in Oxford. Memorial services were held in West Chester, Ohio, on March 11. In lieu of flowers, Mark's family requested donations be made to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.

zahneime@miamioh.edu

@MeganZahneis

Read More

Trending