Dear Angela,
Do you think people in college can fall in love? I think I might have fallen in love with a friend who doesn't love me back. Some of my friends insist that I'll get over her eventually, that I'm not really in love and that I won't meet anybody I love until after college, but I don't agree. What do you think?
Sincerely,
An Anonymous Miami Student
Dear An Anonymous Miami Student,
Your friends that insist you won't truly fall in love until after college are simply wrong. Every time I get a question where "friends" are giving such bad advice I sit here at my computer and shake my head. Shaking. My. Head.
Enter Ask Angela, certified Love Guru(TM).
But not actually. Human emotion gives me anxiety.
To answer your question succinctly, of course you can fall in love in college. That's not a matter of opinion, it's a simple fact.
You can fall in love at any place during any moment of time and don't you dare let anyone convince you otherwise. Love isn't restricted by the social construct of time, love is free flowing, like a stream or maybe more like a torrential downpour, and happens whenever the hell it wants to. College kids are just as likely to get struck by Cupid's arrows as the next person. Cupid don't discriminate.
And that's not to say that what your friends are saying is completely invalid. We live on a college campus where it's considered taking an "L" if you don't go home and bang someone on the weekends and you're considered "whipped" if you get tied down in a relationship. There's a million other things to worry about in college -- srats and frats, what bar you're going to on Friday night, which student orgs you actually want to be a part of. Throw love on top of that mix and yikes, that's quite a full plate.
I suppose I can follow your friends' logic in the sense that it's so rare to find love on a college campus. Everything is hookups and no strings attached, and that's something that I've always advocated for because it's nice to have something chill on the side that's more of a low key commitment.
But the notion that your status as a college student prevents you from falling in love -- true love -- is bogus and it's sad to me that this is something people actually think on this campus.
Since when did being in love become not cool? Being in love is freaking awesome. You see stars on cloudy nights, sunshine while it's raining and you always have a smile plastered on your face. It completely befuddles me that people believe you can't fall in love in college.
You think you may have fallen in love? No one else on this entire planet needs to validate or invalidate that, you're allowed to feel every damn thing you're feeling.
But since you said you "think" you may have fallen in love, I would like to provide you with a series of questions to give you a solid yay or nay to whether or not you're in love with this mystery gal.
Do you find yourself staring at this girl and thinking, "Damn, she's gorgeous" when she's in her natural habitat of no mascara, sweatpants on, eating a pint of ice cream?
Do you feel a sunny, pleasant, tingly feeling when you are in her presence? Or when you see her across campus? Or when her name pops up on your phone when she texts/snaps you?
Do you find yourself concerned with what's going on in her head when she furrows her eyebrows and pouts her lower lip? Or do you simply find yourself concerned about every little thing she does?
Do you find yourself awake at night, halfheartedly watching Netflix and thinking about what she's doing at that very moment? And wondering if she's thinking about you?
Congratulations, my friend. You're in love. You've been sipping on love potion number nine. The moon has hit your eyes like a big pizza pie, that's amore. You've been dancing down the street with a cloud at your feet, that's amore.
And there's not a damn thing wrong with that.
You can and you will fall in love in college. I did. It was a beautiful feeling that can compare to nothing else in the entire world. It was also a trainwreck. But that's a story for another day.
Screw hook ups and no strings attached, those are for people who are terrified of falling in love and confronting their feelings. It's for the people who have built a wall of cement around their hearts and don't remember how to let love in anymore. Trust me when I say that is no way to live. I have built up so many walls that I wonder if anyone will ever be able break them down. And for what?
You are capable of recognizing the most amazing emotion in life, embrace that.
Don't take any offense to this, but your friends are fucking idiots when it comes to all things love related. You don't just "get over" love. I'm here to validate that twinkle in your eye and that pep in your step.
Love is a complicated thing, but when you find someone who makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, you have to run toward that and run toward that with open arms.
Embrace the love,
Angela