Dear Angela,
How do I get boys to notice me? Just asking for a friend...
Sincerely,
Not just thirsty, but dehydrated
Dear Not just thirsty, but dehydrated,
Look, I don't want to be blunt here, but I lack any sort of filter and tend to just say (or write) whatever is floating around in my ole noggin. Call it reactionary, or crass, or careless, but you can't deny that you'll always be getting the God's honest truth from me.
You want boys to notice you?
You shouldn't give a flying fuck what boys think about you.
Contrary to what you may have read/heard/seen before, I'm not going to tell you to start spending two hours on your makeup everyday before class, to start going to the gym to shed some pounds and tone up, to wear your fleekest clothes to your 8:30s and I am definitely not going to tell you to download the ESPN app so you can act like you give a damn about football (whoever founded Cosmo magazine is my least favorite human to ever exist).
Would you like to know why I'm not going to tell you any of that nonsense? I'll tell you -- even though at this point in my column, you're probably wishing I had given you some five-step simple formula to get you a Bae-rrito instead of taking this opportunity to rant.
My friend, you should only make changes in your life that benefit you. I cannot stress enough that changing who you are just to attract some dude is going to make you feel like a shell of your former self, empty and unhappy in exchanges for a few cuddles and temporary satisfaction.
We see it time and time again in movies, young adult fiction books, etc. The girl who is a nerdy troll, but then BAM, comes out halfway in the film with some makeup and high heels and is a bombshell and starts dating the quarterback and they live happily ever after.
Not realistic.
Sweet little Sandy from Grease did a complete 180 and turned into a bad bitch greaser, the complete opposite of who she really is, just to win the affection of her summer flame Danny Zuko. And you know what? Her and Danny probably got hitched right after high school and then divorced five years later because Sandy was trying to be Danny's ideal chick and lost herself along the way and stopped one day as she was in the kitchen making him a sandwich as he sat on his ass in a recliner watching TV and was like, "What the hell am I doing, I'm not even actually happy, Danny won't shut the hell up about the golden days and the T-Birds."
*sigh*
Mr. Right isn't someone that you have to change yourself for. Mr. Right is the person that sees you, all of you -- the flawed and the imperfect -- and still thinks to himself, "This is the person that I want to be with."
Boys may not be noticing you now and you're right, that does suck. Not feeling wanted is probably one of the worst feelings in the world and I wouldn't wish anyone on this entire planet to feel that way.
But boys not noticing you isn't attributed to something you're doing wrong. And trust me, life is all about timing and the moment when you least expect it. The moment when you truly don't see it coming and think it'll never happen is the moment love will fall into your lap or hit you like a ton of bricks. You'll realize it's worth the wait.
You are enough. You are so so enough. Don't go changing who you are for something superficial and fleeting.
Have a little faith in the universe and have a little love for yourself.
With love,
Angela
tmsaskangela@gmail.com