America has always distinguished itself as the bold trailblazer of the world. We've pioneered countless technologies, explored brave new worlds and been a leader in cultural movements throughout modern history. We gave the world light with the invention of the light bulb and wings with the invention of flight. Americans were the first to walk on the moon as well as the first to map the human genome. We revolutionized the world with the creation of the Internet.
Maybe I'm partial to American exceptionalism, but I feel that much of mankind's modern advancement is partly due to the American spirit of ingenuity. However, with arguments about America's lagging healthcare, education and economy, it seems we're struggling to stay in the vanguard of progress. That is, until this summer.
This summer - amidst a national eruption about the American health crisis - KFC fearlessly introduced a new symbol of that undying American ingenuity, the "Double Down Sandwich." I have included "sandwich" in the quotations with the title of the product because "sandwich" is defined as "an item of food consisting of two pieces of bread with filling between them, eaten as a light meal." The Double Down is not constrained by conventional sandwich philosophy. This "sandwich" is neither "light" nor does it waste its time with the likes of bread. Like our Earth, the Double Down starts with a molten core, the "Colonel's secret sauce" wrapped inside of two slices of Swiss and Pepperjack cheese, tucked under a tectonic layer of bacon and finished with two filets of the Colonel's original recipe chicken to serve as "bread." That's right, thanks to the innovative thinkers at Yum! Brands, American society has now become so advanced that we have thrown off the primitive and tyrannical shackles of bread. The Vancouver Sun conducted an investigation revealing that the Double Down likely boasts a caloric content that would make Orson Welles blush, with around 1,228 calories, more than the daily allowance in sodium (125 percent), fat (124 percent) and almost double the allowance of protein. It's not so shocking that the Double Down has received rave reviews in its Midwest test market, especially when you consider how deeply eating has become ingrained into our culture.
Most of our major holidays revolve so much around food that overeating has almost become patriotic. Thanksgiving means respecting our forefathers and the fertile, crop-yielding lands of our country by eating until we go blind. Fourth of July is usually an endless assault of burgers and hot dogs, and Halloween is an acceptable reason for letting kids go into sugar comas. Among our great inventions we sometimes forget fast food, the soda fountain, a TV network devoted solely to food and "fourth meal."
After all, bigger is better in America, which may explain why, according to statistics by the Centers for Disease Control, six out of every 10 Americans are overweight and three out of every 10 are obese, with that number doubling mostly within the past 20 years. So many deaths from inactivity-related diseases have occurred that doctors have coined a new term for it, "Sedentary Death Syndrome," and believe it may be America's second largest health problem.
It's estimated that obesity costs our nation $117 billion in direct medical costs, our businesses more than $115 billion, and by 2015 our health care system will have spent $1 trillion on obesity problems alone, enough to run the state of New York for 38 years. Meanwhile, we see tirades in town halls over health care reform bills that will cost us $850 billion in 10 years, cut more than $500 billion to existing health programs and further burden our nation and those who truly deserve care with supporting the weight (pun totally intended) of others' personal responsibilities. Instead of bickering about the cost and structure of a system that's goal is to treat health problems, we should be focusing first on prevention and changing the attitudes of a king-size number of Americans. I could continue to harp on this to you forever, but I have a nacho cheese chugging competition to attend.
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