By Joey Hart, Assistant Opinion Editor
Here at The Miami Student, it's an important job of ours to make sure that the entirety of the student populace is well informed of its environment, including first-years. Keeping this duty in mind, we submit to you, freshmen, the following 12 tips to help make your first year a swooping success:
- Want to immediately make a name for yourself on campus? Skip out on all the opening week activities to make sure everyone knows you're a badass.
- Diversity is one of the most important aspects of any college campus. Show you have a diverse opinion on college sports by wearing an Ohio Bobcats sweatshirt to class.
- Bond with dorm mates by making betting pools over who will contract HPV first.
- Don't let others push you around just because you are the youngest group here. Walk up to a bouncer at a bar and say, "No, YOU aren't allowed in here unless you're 21."
- Start stocking up on canned corn and cornmeal now in preparation for Cornfest.
- Recognize that it's your first year of college and you never want things to get too serious too quickly with anyone. Practice saying "Like & Honor" instead of "Love & Honor" for now.
- The football and basketball games will likely all have sellout crowds, so make sure to purchase your tickets as soon as possible before there aren't any left.
- Everyone knows that it's good luck to rub the turtle heads under the sundial, but not every one knows that it's even better luck to lick them. Consider Frenching those babies before your first exam.
- Comically suggest bunking beds with your roommate just like in the movie "Step Brothers," because no one else in the world has thought of that joke already.
- Just because Brick Street isn't really a street doesn't mean you can't get wrecked there.
- Start getting to know people involved in Greek life now so that come rush they know you're really weird.
- Break the ice with other students you meet by talking about what you have in common, like the fact that you're wearing khakis.
Email Joey Hart at hartjt@miamioh.edu