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Rocket has no power in Capital

Dan Kukla

When Roger Clemens appeared before Congress last Wednesday, it created one of the most bizarre sports related events in recent memory.

Personally, I have never been a fan of ESPN's extended coverage of off-field issues.

Weeklong sagas about dog fighting and a retired running back stealing his own paraphernalia (i.e. OJ Simpson) seem somewhat unnecessary-just give me the important facts and then get back to the highlights of what actually happened on the field during a game.

Nevertheless, here we are once again, being force-fed video clips of a Congressional hearing. No, not a captivating LeBron dunk, not a towering Pujols homer or one of Tiger's jawdropping 50-foot puts.

That's right, today's self proclaimed World Wide Leader in Sports would rather show us a "highlight" reel of a bunch of old men sitting in a room-talking.

Right now, America is dealing with the Iraqi war, global warming, an economy bracing for the first recession since September 11, the weak American dollar and the decline of the public-school system among a laundry list of many other pertinent issues.

But really, I'm sure that our most notable Congressmen didn't have anything better to talk about then the integrity of an embarrassed major league pitcher.

I'll be honest: Ever since the Rocket's name popped up on the Mitchell Report I was not-so-secretly hoping that the allegations were true. As a Cardinals fan, I was never too fond of the Astros, Red Sox or Yankees (all former or current teams Clemens has played for) and so he has always been an easy target of my animosity. Listening to what he said Wednesday only further confirmed his guilt in my mind.

Some of the most important people in Clemens' life right now are his wife, his best friend Andy Pettitte, his agent and the players union.

On Wednesday he threw all of these people under the proverbial bus. If defending yourself ever requires you to backstab those who mean the most to you, your life needs one heck of a revamping.

Taking this one step further, let's consider what the Rocket is actually trying to get us to believe here. Clemens' career has recently had a magical resurgence and now there is evidence that links him to the use of steroids and HGH. But don't worry; Roger says that is completely untrue.

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According to him, his only possible exposure to HGH is through his wife and best friend, both of whom have used it in a way that he was not involved in whatsoever. Right-and the recent boost in throwing power was just a Christmas present from Old St. Nick himself.

Clemens has been doing a fine job of telling us about his innocence, but for someone who is at risk of losing his reputation as an honest man (never mind all his athletic accomplishments) at the hands of his closest teammate, he sure is doing a poor job of showing us.

It is my humble opinion that Clemens is full of crap, and therefore full of the juice as well. Have I laid out before you any hard evidence of his guilt? Of course not.

In a war of finger pointing and name calling, all the facts here are about as soft as the backside where Clemens stuck himself if he is indeed guilty. And that's just the point.

Congress has better things to do than to play mom for these crying adults who are acting very much like 2-year-olds. Now can we please get back to that amazing LeBron performance from the All-Star Game?