It is a somewhat universally acknowledged truth that a girl who is violently upset uptown must be crying over a guy. The hunched shoulders, the dragging heels and of course, the omnipresent whirl of concerned friends fluttering about.
Romantic comedies and emotional dramas do their best to satirize and explain the age-old question of why can guys be such jerks to girls, but I personally find the conclusions unsatisfactory.
After years of playing informal relationship counselor, I have nothing the least bit scientifically legitimate to add to this discussion, with the exception of a few well-reasoned observations.
If I may back up a bit, I'll relate my obligatory anecdote that led to today's topic. While casually celebrating St. Patrick's Day this past Saturday, I was told a story about a girl losing her virginity to one of my male acquaintances.
The guys I was standing with explained the situation in hushed, albeit rather amused tones. After rolling my eyes at the primitively masculine pleasure they were taking from the situation, I realized the girl in question was standing no more than 10 feet away.
When I asked the deflowerer in question about her, he said he had no plans of being with her again."I mean, of course I'll say hi or whatever" was the gist of the explanation given over the rim of his beer cup.
I consider myself at ease with the boys - probably because I can out-crude almost all of them. But this story really bothered me.
I know these guys pretty well, and wouldn't consider any of them bad people. This tale of bro conquest, however, turned my stomach.
It wasn't that there was malevolence behind the action. It was their utter indifference that broke my heart for this poor girl who had no idea what was being said about her.
That being said, I cannot in good faith start burning bras and chucking rocks at frat guys I find disgusting.
Something that takes a long time for girls to grasp is another universal truth: guys will treat you as well or as poorly as you let them treat you.
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Everyone retains the right to a one-night-stand - this is America after all - but ladies, I'm begging you to listen: giving him the goods the first night will rarely end up in a healthy, long-term relationship.
If you have no interest in a relationship, then go get some. But connections forged through alcohol and collegiate lust will probably not stand the test of time. If a guy is treating you poorly after only two weeks, he does not care about you very much. If he only ever texts you to watch a movie (insert lewd wink), he does not respect you.
If you only hear from him after 1 a.m., there's a good chance he has no idea what your last name is.
Senior year seems to have brought out a resurgence of freshman-level immaturity in this regard - probably due in large part to the desperation for debauchery that accompanies our last semester.
All of us need human connection, and there are just some nights when you can rationalize taking that guy back because it will make you feel good for that moment in time.
But when it becomes habitual, you cannot expect to be happy with yourself in the morning.
We all carry the prejudice that guys are jerks, but this is because we allow our pride to convince us we don't care when they start treating us like we're idiots.
Slut and whore are commonplace in our vernacular, but this is due to a lethal combination of male chauvinism and female acquiescence.
I'm not nearly jaded enough to generalize that everything with a Y-chromosome is a sex-driven sociopath, but I do believe we women have given them entirely too much latitude to behave like that towards us. So delete his number, don't respond to the booty-call text, and head to the rec center for a long workout with an angry playlist - but do it because you know you deserve better than what you're getting.
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