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Opinion | Don't be afraid to be real

Joy Alise Davis, davisja3@muohio.edu

Trust is something that should be expected in every healthy relationship, but establishing trust can be very difficult in the beginning stages. The "honeymoon" phase of a relationship is often the time when that trust is tested. You have the option to either be completely honest or simply continue the false ideal of self … perfection!

We all know this phase, and most of us love it. This is the opportunity for everyone to start fresh and put old relationships behind us.

When I am in this phase, I am perfect. I try to keep up the facade that I live the perfect life. I want him to think that I am completely in control of everything. This idea of perfection always seems to become my demise at the end. The truth always eventually comes out. Looking like a liar is the best way to end a relationship way before it really starts.

I can't help but wonder why we do this to ourselves. Why do we promote this fake version of ourselves instead of being completely honest from day one?

Many reach this crossroads when discussing past relationships or past sexual encounters. Let's be honest, there is a certain stereotype associated with the big number. If a male has a high number, he is simply being a man, but for females it's a different story. Many females feel ashamed of their past experiences and tend to shave off their numbers here and there. Sadly, we live in a society in which males and females aren't equal. If a male and a female have had the same number of sexual partners, they will be treated completely differently. It's the whole notion of "walk of shame" versus "walk of fame." Men are constantly glorified for their experiences while females are judged.

I have often heard that there is formula all females should follow when asked to reveal their number: Take your number, cut your number by 50 percent and add one person.

Is this formula really supposed to ensure that you won't be judged for your past experiences?

I have always been taken aback by this notion of sexism.

From personal experiences, I can tell you that lying about something like this can hurt you later. No one wants to wake up one day and realize they are dating a stranger, that everything you thought about the other person is a lie.

Lying about anything is a bad way to start a relationship. Whether it's past sexual encounters or something simple like your favorite NBA team, honesty holds more weight. Trust me, you will end up looking like a fool when the truth comes out.

I know it is scary to put yourself out there for another person to analyze. During this beginning phase, you should be getting to know the other person. If you are looking for a meaningful relationship, it's important to realize that you are laying down the foundations for your relationship. Imagine the pressure of being perfect. The person you choose to be in a relationship with should be the one person you find complete comfort in. There is nothing better than being loved for the person you have been, are and will become.

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You don't need to be perfect. Growing with each other is a beautiful thing. Being perfect is so 2010. Let's rub off our masks and get real!