Gunshots and dog barks rang out last Thursday night, with hundreds of canines running in all directions after the Oxford Police Department broke up an illegal human fighting ring hosted by Miami University’s community service club Paws for a Cause Miami in an effort to raise money for their new service dog park.

Human fighting features two naked, greased-up humans in a ring, fighting to the death. Dogs bet on who will survive. This sport was outlawed back in 1932, but is still widely practiced in underground rings.

“It’s shocking that this type of cruelty is still happening,” barked Dr. Snuffles, human expert and schnauzer. “What’s worse is that everyone is now going to think that humans are violent creatures, when in reality they are really quite friendly.”

Twelve dogs are currently being held at the local pound for questioning. Eight of them are Paws for a Cause Miami service dogs in training.

“We have known that human fighting has been happening in Oxford for a while,” said Oxford police chief and poodle Bubbles. “It was just that every time we got a new lead, it would end up with us chasing our own tails. I’m glad we finally got them.”

Cupcake, a black labrador retriever and Paws for a Cause Miami’s president, was not present at the fights when the police arrived, but several pee marks around the ring belonging to him proved that he was in attendance during the event.

This is not the first time Paws for a Cause Miami has come under fire for shady fundraising actions. They held a poker tournament back in 2013, where a bulldog was found to be cheating.The org has also been connected to the local beggin’ strip clubs, often providing them dog show girls.  

“The actions of Paws for a Cause does not reflect the views of Miami University,” said Miami’s president and golden retriever Ivy Crawford. “We just hope that we can bury the bone with human rights groups, like the Human Society, to resolve this.”

seriomp@miamioh.edu

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