Liz Caskey, Amusement Assistant Editor

( ANNA TURNER I The Miami Student)

There are two weeks left of school and you know what that means … pub crawls.

I’m not sure what it is about the blossoming tulips and the shining sun that makes all (of age) Miami University students want to hop from Oxford bar to bar, sipping on delightful beverages of varying colors and sizes.

The best part is these bar crawls aren’t just reserved for the usual hard partiers … the crawls bring out a plethora of crawlers.

Yeah, every year the frat boys will be out there BUT so will the early education majors … and who doesn’t want to see some teachers gone wild? Even math, economics and business majors all turn up for a little end of the year barring.

Hey, we deserve the break after a semester of work and misery.

For those of you new to the pub crawling scene, you should be aware of a few rules. These rules are not meant to hinder fun but rather help you get the most out of your celebratory evening.

These rules will make you the coolest kid on the crawl.

Rule No. 1: Pace yourself

While it will be challenging to derail your excitement for consumption at the first stop along your crawl it is crucial you pump the brakes and take it slow.

You don’t want to be the guy that peaks too early and is done eight bars before the rest of the group. Good times are to be had along the journey, and going down after the first bar will put you out of the running.

Rule No. 2: Carry a Sharpie

Do you want to single-handedly save the bar crawl? Of course you do.

The best way to do this is to come prepared with a Sharpie. Everyone intends to bring one to check off bars on the backs of their T-shirts, write profanity on CJ’s tables, draw on the first person to go down’s face — see rule one — and you need to be the savior wielding that permanent ink-filled Excalibur.

Rule No. 3: Keep your ID and credit cards on hand

These are the two most important things to have on your person on the big crawl day. Without these two pieces of plastic you will be denied entrance and denied drink … and that sucks.

My suggestion: Do what you did as a first-year. Hole punch two holes in the corners of the cards and pop those suckers on a lanyard.

Yeah, you’ll look like a tool … but you’ll be a smart tool. Others will follow when they see your great success.

Rule No. 4: Save your wristbands

One day when you’re old, grey and one beer makes you drunk, the 10 wristbands you accumulated in one night will be collector’s items.

Frame those suckers, post them on the wall, show them to your grandkids and make sure to pass them on to a reliable relative in your will. These are your war medals … treat them as such.

Follow these rules and you are sure to have an excellent crawl riddled with silly, Sharpie-filled fun.

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