On Monday, Aug. 27, first-year female Miami University students reveled in wearing clothes to class that would have earned them detentions in high school.

Isabel Cooper said she felt “weird” about pairing her jeans with a tank top the first day of classes, but her older sister assured her that she was allowed to do that now.

“I guess if that guy who sits behind me in American Studies fails because he’s too distracted by my shoulders, that’s on him,” Cooper said. Just in case, she stuffed a sweatshirt into her backpack.

Cooper spent her entire first class on edge, waiting for her professor to snap at her to “cover up” or “leave it to the imagination” before handing her a detention slip (she didn’t.)

First-year Richard Stevens, the guy who sits behind Cooper in American Studies, disagrees.

Stevens said he’s already struggling to adjust to seeing so many female shoulders and upper legs. He also lamented not being able to see the tops of their heads, because they’re all wearing baseball caps.

The hat-wearing, in particular, is troubling to Stevens.

“How am I supposed to know if they have dandruff?” Stevens said. “Or psoriasis?”

When his friend, Bryan Mitchell, pointed out that most male Miami students also cover their scalps with baseball hats, Stevens, who was sporting a retro Cleveland Indians cap, said he hadn’t noticed.

Other male first-years all over campus on Monday continued dressing exactly as they had in school for 13 years.

While Emily Hathaway was walking to her 10 a.m. class in Upham Hall on Monday morning, she noticed a female professor approaching. Instinctively, she tugged her Nike athletic shorts down so they met fingertip length, and was confused when the professor didn’t scold or lecture her on her promiscuous wardrobe choice.

“Then I remembered I’m in college now, and administrators are more concerned with my academic success than what I’m wearing,” Hathaway said. “But don’t, like, tell my high school vice principal I said that.”

daviskn3@miamioh.edu

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