By Joey Hart, Asst. Editorial Editor

Last May, then-senior in high school Avery F. Reshmen posted the following message in the Miami University Class of 2020 Facebook page:

“Hey guys, I’m looking for a roommate for next year! I’m really into sports and I love exercise. I played soccer in high school but I’d love to room with someone who would join any club sports team with me. I love to go out and have fun on the weekends, but I also take school seriously! I love listening to different kinds of music and I love joking around with my friends. I usually go to bed around 11:00 and I will always try to keep the room neat, though I get a little messy sometimes ;-). I plan on rushing second semester and I definitely want to study abroad. Message me if you’re interested!”

The Miami Student’s ace team of fact checkers caught up with Reshmen’s eventual roommate and got to the bottom of what was true and what was not. Here is what we found:

Claim: “I’m really into sports and I love exercise.”

Our Verdict: Mostly False

Reshmen definitely loves sports, but only when he is watching them. He has been to the rec twice this semester, and it does not look like he plans on going back.

Claim: “I played soccer in high school”

Our Verdict: True, But Misleading

Yes, playing second string on the JV team does technically qualify as having played soccer in high school.

Claim: “I love to go out and have fun on the weekends”

Our Verdict: Mostly True

Despite many nights spent staying in and Skyping his high school girlfriend that he is cheating on, for Reshmen this claim mostly holds water.

Claim: “I also take school seriously!”

Our Verdict: False

Good luck explaining that D on an English 111 essay to your parents.

Claim: “I love listening to different kinds of music and I love joking around with my friends.”

Our Verdict: True

Since this sentence literally describes every human being on Earth, we are obligated to say that it is indeed true.

Claim: “I usually go to bed around 11:00”

Our Verdict: Mostly False

This may have been true at one point in Reshmen’s life, but those late night sessions spent watching “Parks and Recreation” have largely made this information outdated.

Claim: “I will always try to keep the room neat, though I get a little messy sometimes ;-)”

Our Verdict: False

Dude, you’ve done your laundry like twice this semester. And on the second weekend here you threw up on your bed, slept in it and didn’t wash the sheets for a day. Let’s not pretend you only get messy “sometimes.”

Claim: “I plan on rushing second semester and I definitely want to study abroad.”

Our Verdict: True, But No One Cares

Why would this have any bearing on whether someone wants to room with you or not?

hartjt@miamioh.edu

Comments