Established 1826 — Oldest College Newspaper West of the Alleghenies

Dear Liz: the new Abby

Liz Caskey

Hello world-that may be slightly ambitious-my name is Liz. I recently came to the conclusion that what The Miami Student, more specifically Amusement, is lacking is an obnoxiously witty, cynical advice column with the potential to actually be helpful-though that's highly unlikely.

Conveniently enough, being the new Amusement editor that I am, I decided to make it happen. Sure, I may be entirely unqualified but so is Dr. Phil, and somebody gave him his own TV show.

Nevertheless, I vow to provide all of you lost and/or puzzled souls out there with some honest, true and potentially harsh advice that your roommates and best friends should give you but don't in order to preserve your treasured friendship. We aren't friends, so I don't mind.

So if you want to know how to get ride of an ex who stalks you, how to pick a major that won't make you pull every hair out of your head follicle by follicle or why everyone always points and laughs at you when you walk into a room, shoot me an e-mail at caskeyem@muohio.edu for some free doctoring. It's cheaper than a shrink-or alcohol.

Advice-seekers will remain anonymous. All you have to do is e-mail me your question with the subject heading "Advice needed." My inbox has been rather lackluster lately, so let's change that. Don't be shy. I don't bite-unless provoked.