Andrew Klatzke, Senior Staff Writer


I think I’ve figured it out.

That’s right, I’ve figured out the perfect formula for a blockbuster. Forget the plot, character and logic of the movie: what you need is a huge special effects budget and an actor that has given a mediocre performance in one film. Well, that’s at least what whoever wrote Clash of the Titans thought.

I’m going to be blunt: Clash of the Titans is, quite possibly, one of the worst movies I’ve ever subjected myself to.

Let’s go ahead and start with the acting. Not only was Sam Worthington as Perseus one of the worst miscasts I’ve ever seen but the audience doesn’t even view him through a likeable lens likes to a poor job on the writers’ part. The role, completely over-played by Worthington, just seems like a headstrong, immature kid instead of the savior of humanity that it’s supposed to. If Worthington had any acting chops he might have been able to charm the crowd, but alas, we don’t even see that. So much for the film having a protagonist.

Choosing Liam Neeson as Zeus was a bold move. Obviously the movie needs a big-name actor’s attempts to save it, but instead we’re greeted with one of the flattest roles from Neeson I’ve seen. Of course, I can’t truly blame Neeson when his entire role is centered on providing a few significant sound-bites for the trailer.

Acting, however, is not what completely destroyed any credibility this movie could have garnered. Let’s start with the name: An obvious ode to the quirky cult-classic, right? Wrong. Clash of the Titans has absolutely nothing to do with the original other than sharing a name. There are a few places where the director strives to call attention to the film’s heritage, but in the long run these only call attention to how far the movie strayed from its namesake.

There is also no clashing between titans, something I feel was stressed by both the title and the tagline “Let the Titans Clash.” A little misleading, no?

The thing that truly dug the grave of the new visual-orgy version of Clash of the Titans is the completely faulty plot. Scratch that — there is no solid plot. Instead, there are the scraps of every cliché scene and line from just about any conflict-oriented fantasy movie you can name all amalgamated into a faulty flow of ideas.

Not only does the major plotline waver and break in multiple places, they start subplots at every turn that never go anywhere at all.
These kinds of logical jumps happen frequently: To insinuate this movie’s plot isn’t full of holes is to make an incredible amount of assumptions.
For example, the prince receives a prophecy telling him he’ll die if he fights the Kraken. He fights the Kraken, but does not die, thus “defying” fate, though that’s never actually stated. Like every subplot in the movie, it’s glanced over once or twice and hopefully forgotten about.
It’s nearly impossible to understand what the plot is or to keep up with the high number of miniscule subplots only detracts the viewer from the fairly ignored main plot.

The writers also create a terrible paradox for themselves that they’re obviously not of the caliber to reconcile. They want you to feel at home with the humans and Perseus and understand their plight, but give little to no evidence as to why you shouldn’t side with the Gods, creating, at least in my mind, a tug to support the people who are supposed to be the antagonists of the film.

The fact that this movie has grossed such a ridiculous amount of money in its first weekend is a signifier of the sad state of affairs in American film. To put it bluntly, this is a pure popcorn movie. It’s the perfect example of a movie that has only one thing: action. Some people will like that, and I won’t knock you if that’s “your thing.” All I ask is that we see through the brilliant visuals to the core of a movie that is not so much a story as much as a wheel of clichés that’s always rotating.